Christmas with the Cullens
by awesomelyme
Summary: This is a random story about what Christmas would be like for Bella with the Cullens. Between Alice decorating and giving gifts the possibilities are endless. Please R
1. Chapter 1: Oh Alice

**_AN: _**Okay this is my first fan fiction so please feel free to send me some ideas for what Alice will do and tell me if it sucks or not. I hope you like it. The first chapter is a little dull so please forgive me it is a set up chapter and it will get better. Please point out any mistakes and I will take all ideas into consideration. Thanks! And now my story...

Oh and I do not own Twilight or any of the characters ; ) a genius does

**Chapter One: Oh Alice**

"Bella! Bella! Bella!" I heard a voice yell at me. I turned around to see none other than Alice standing behind me as I got out of Edward's car.

"What Alice?" I asked not quit excited enough for her. It was Monday. What did she want from me?

"Do you know what today is?" She asked while almost jumping up and down.

"Um….Monday?"

"No silly! The DATE!" she commanded.

"Should I?" I said sheepishly.

"Yes! As a human it is your responsibility to know the date! Today is December first!"

"And…..?" I was confused. What was so special about December first? Just another day with my perfect Edward.

"Uh….Is she always like this on Mondays?" She asked as she turned to Edward.

"Not all of the time…." He said as he slid his cool hand around my waist.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked irritably as I looked up at his perfect face. He was dazzling me so I knew I wouldn't stay mad long. I hated it when he did that.

"Nothing Love." He said as he pecked me on the forehead.

"Anyway….." I thought Alice was about to burst with excitement. "It is only twenty five days until Christmas!" She screamed at me. A few people turned to see an excited Alice jumping up and down in joy with a huge smile on her face.

"Oh….." I said.

"That's it Bella? Seriously all I get is an oh? You should be excited!"

"Why?"

"Because it is Christmas time! So what are your plans? Are you decorating……." She started to rattle off a long list of things to do and plans to make. I looked at Edward while she was counting on her fingers and thinking. It was funny sight to see Alice counting on her fingers as she named off all the things she had planned and the decorations she needed.

"Is she always like this at Christmas?" I asked him. He laughed. I loved that sound more than anything else in the world.

"You should have seen what she did last year." He said. I gulped. If it was that much or that bad, I did not even want to think about what she might do this year.

"I don't even want to think about that." I whispered back to him.

"Bella….WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS?" Alice started to yell at me since I was paying more attention to Edward.

"Well…." I began. I honestly had no clue what I was doing for Christmas. I wondered if my mom wanted me to come to Florida. I wanted to spend the holidays here in Forks with Edward, and Charlie. "I…" I tried to start again but was gratefully saved by the bell.

"Tell me at lunch!" Alice yelled at me as she darted off to class. She was a psychic- why was she asking if I had plans. Couldn't she see that? I thought confused.

"Don't worry about her. She is just excited." Edward said. He gave me a quick peck on the forehead and we went our separate ways to class.

It was hard to pay attention in all of my classes. I could only imagine what Alice was planning on doing. Between the thoughts of hot rollers, hair straightners, new make-up, presents, and Alice with Christmas decorations- I was terrified. I could see their house now. It would be covered in fifty million Christmas lights with at least two decorations on every flat surface of their home. And the tree was a whole different story. It was easy for me to picture Alice buying the biggest tree possible and paying a designer to decorate it for her. Or she would try and get Gucci and Prada products to hang on it herself. Honestly, I would not have been surprised to walk in the Cullen living room and see a twelve foot high tree with clothes hanging on it. There was nothing to extreme that Alice could do that would not surprise me.

When it was finally lunch time- I nearly ran to the cafeteria to meet Alice, but I slowed down when I got to the doors and remembered that she might be planning on doing something to me. I grabbed a granola bar and went over to sit with Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie.

Alice looked like she was about to explode. I sat down and started to eat my granola bar. Jasper looked up.

"Thank God you are here!" he said to me relieved. "All of her excitement is about to make me go insane!"

"Edward…." I said and looked at him questioningly. I knew that whatever Alice had planned he would know.

"Sorry love…She is singing High School Musical 2 songs to block her thoughts. Alice- please stop!" he begged. "I can't take hearing you sing 'We've got to work, work, to work this out, We'll make things right, the sun will shine If we work, work there'll be no doubt, We can still save the summer, If we work this out!" Edward sung the lyrics. I started laughing and nearly choked when Emmett joined in.

"I'd rather face a seven footer, straight up in the post….." He would have kept going but Rosalie hit him on the back of the neck. He shut up and the rest of us started laughing at him. All of us except Alice who was hoping up and down in her seat in joy and impatience.

"BellaIknowyoudon'tlikegettingintotheholidaysthatmuchsocanIdecorateyourhouseforyouwhenIamdonewithours?"She shrieked. I did not catch half of what she was saying. Edward must have seen my confusion and he clarified it for me.

"She wants to know if she can decorate your house after she gets finished with ours."

Oh no. I thought. The only thing worse than having Alice decorate Charlie and my house would be having her give me a makeover and Edward buy me expensive gifts. I knew that one of them was unavoidable so I decided that maybe if I let Alice do some decorating and please herself, she wouldn't try to torture me and give me another makeover during the holidays.

"Okay…." I began but I was cut off with squeals of joy.

"Yahyahyah!ThankyousomuchBellayouarethebestsisterever!" she started to ramble on.

"Whoa Alice! There was going to be a but." She looked disappointed at that. "Not a big one, but what I was going to say was that if I let you decorate our house SOME then you can not give me a makeover during the break. And you can only use Christmas lights as decorations to put on our house with a little garland. Nothing too overboard."

She thought about it for a moment. At first she looked sad as if I had undone some evil plan of hers for me. Then she looked happy. I could only imagine what Alice was going to do, if maybe not as a what-would-have-been makeover scheme that I had just ruined, but possibly what she was going to do to Charlie's poor innocent house. Finally, she decided.

"Deal!" she said and we shook hands. Oh crap- what had I just gotten myself into?


	2. Chapter 2: Santa's Little Helpers

**AN: Okay please forgive any typos I am a little fried form taking the ACT today. I hope you like it. It isn't die in laughter funny but the next chapter will be a little bit funnier sorry if it isn't that good. Please send me some reviews I get the feeling this sucks becasue no one reviewed the last chapter. **

**Chapter Two: Santa's Litlle Helpers**

"So what do you want for Christmas?" Edward asked me. I was sitting in my favorite seat- his lap- in the Cullen's living room. I was spending the weekend over at the orders of Alice. It was still early on Saturday and I dreaded what she had insisted that I come over for. All week long she had been planning something and Edward was about to go insane from hearing High School Musical Two songs in her thoughts when he tried to figure it out. So we both sat there while Alice was in the attic for some unfathomable reason.

"Nothing." I said. I was being honest when I answered because I did not want him to spend a lot of money on me.

"You must want something." He said.

"Nope. I do want one thing though….." I trailed off. He looked at me with smoldering eyes when I turned to face him. I was now cradled in his arms.

"What?" He asked. I was dazzled and reminded myself to keep breathing when his breath fanned into my face.

"You…." I whispered. He pulled me closer and we kissed passionately. My fingers twisted in his hair.

**Jasper POV (at the same time Bella and Edward are in the living room)**

"Please Alice don't make me put that on this year." I whined. I knew it was low, but I did not want to go through this again. Never again would I let Alice anywhere near a costume store in all of eternity- even if I had to get a titanium reinforced straight jacket.

"Jasper- stop complaining and put on the costume!" She commanded. I gritted my teeth and said, "No."

"If you don't, I will not touch you for three months!" She said. How could I say no when she said something like that. That and the waves of lust that was coming form Edward and Bella who were most likely kissing was too much to handle. I sighed in defeat. I did not want to wear this in front of my own family that I had been with for over three decades, much less in front of our newest addition- Bella.

"Fine…" I said. Alice's frown immediately turned into an elated smile at my response.

"Yah!" She squealed. I grabbed the outfit from her hands.

"Why do you make me wear this while we are decorating?" I said as I was about to go put on the suit.

"Because you look cute in it and because it gives me a chance to make Edward say something and me make him wear his punishment costume in front of Bella!" Alice said with an impish grin.

Yes! At least I wouldn't be going through this alone. Ha! I couldn't wait to see Edward wearing his so called, 'punishment outfit'. That would teach him to say something insulting about the clothes Alice forced me into with puppy dog eyes. I went to go change and see the embarrassment of my brother.

**Bella POV**

"Um-umh…" I heard someone unnecessarily clear their throat.

When I turned to see who had interrupted us. I fell to the ground laughing. My sides were killing me and every time I opened my eyes, I started to laugh harder at the image I saw through my now blurry eyes.

What I saw was none other than Alice with Jasper. Alice had Christmas lights draped around her neck and was carrying a large tub of what I guessed was Christmas decorations in her hands and a red Santa Claus hat on her head. Jasper looked like Santa's little helper. Jasper, who was very tall and lanky, was wearing green tights with a fitted green coat that was trimmed with white fur. He had an elf hat that said "Jingle This" on his head that was complete with its own little jingle bell at the end of it. The outfit was completed of course with curl-toed green elf shoes. He looked like Will Ferrell form the movie _Elf_. It was true that Alice left out no details when she put together an outfit.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw Edward lying on the ground laughing next to me. Somehow I managed to control my giggles enough to sit up and look at Jasper who was fuming beside a very perky Alice. Alice looked like a miniature coat rack and the Santa hat added to the look. If Jasper was Santa's little helper and Alice was Santa Claus, they had some serious roll reversal issues.

As I sat up Jasper said, "What?! What is so funny about my outfit huh?!"

"Sorry Jasper it is just that you look like Santa's little helper." I blurted out before I started laughing again.

"Yeah Jasper- you better…. be nice…. instead of naughty! Santa… might whip you!" Edward croaked out between laughs.

"Okay bash on Jazz time is over." Alice announced as she threw down the large box that appeared to be filled with Christmas decorations in the middle of the living room floor. As our giggles subsided Edward and I went to join Santa and her helper. I thought for a second that all she needed now were her reindeer. At the thought I started to shake with suppressed laughter.

As if Alice read my thoughts, she quickly got up and flew upstairs to the attic again. Edward had a look of shear terror on his face.

"No. No!" He screamed. He must have seen what Alice was planning to do in her thoughts. I wondered what it was.

**Edward POV**

"No. No!" I screamed. In Alice's thoughts I saw images of last years Christmas again. I would not go through that embarrassment again. Not in front of Bella.

_This will teach you to make fun of my costumes Edward!_ Alice thought maliciously.

_Haha- mock me now dear brother!_ Jasper thought. I threw him a death glare and he grinned even wider.

"Oh dear God- please Alice no." I begged. "I'm sorry I forgot to not make fun of Jasper. Please anything but that." I said. I knew that she could hear me even though she was all the way in the attic.

Bella looked confused as ever, but I was not about to tell her about what I had to endure last year after I made fun of Jasper's outfit that Alice had forced him into with threats and puppy dog eyes. That was one story that she did not need to know. It was bad enough that my own family had to see it. I did not want the love of my existence to know as well.

_No Edward- you did it so now you pay the consequences! Ha! Now, where is that….._

"I am confused- what is he screaming no about?" Bella asked Jasper as she looked at me while I had my head down in my hands.

"Jasper- tell her and die!" I said. He smiled at me.

"Well you see Bella….." he began but I cut him off by jumping on top of him. Instantly we started to wrestle.

His little jingle bell ringing al the while.

**Alice POV (in attic while Bella, Edward, and Jasper are downstairs)**

My plan had gone perfectly. I couldn't wait to force Edward into his uniform and I knew that Bella would help me persuade him to take his punishment. I was so excited, but I could not find the outfit.

"No. No!" I heard Edward yell from the living room.

_This will teach you to make fun of my costumes Edward!_ I scolded him. How dare he make fun of my outfit for Jasper two years in a row! You would have thought that he would have remembered, but I was so happy that he forgot about his penalty.

"Oh dear God- please Alice no." He begged. "I'm sorry I forgot to not make fun of Jasper. Please anything but that." I heard him say. There was no way that I was letting him off the hook- Bella just had to see this.

_No Edward- you did it so now you pay the consequences! Ha! _

Now were is that costume? I was so puzzled. Esme walked into the room behind me.

"Alice- what are you doing that is causing Edward to plead with you, and Jasper and him to wrestle over?"

"Oh nothing Esme- he just made fun of Jasper's traditional costume and now he has to wear his punishment outfit." I explained.

"Oh…." Esme said. "Can I help?" She asked mischievously.

"Yeah!" I told her. I was grateful that Edward was too distracted to read my thoughts. "Go tell everyone else to go down to the living room in about two minutes. Thanks Esme!"

"No problem- I want to see this- I will have my camera ready."

Ha-ha! Let me see you laugh now Edward. I pulled the attire out of the chest I had been rummaging through and flew down stairs.

**Bella POV**

Esme came into the room and separated Edward and Jasper who were rolling around on the floor wrestling. This was a smart move since they were close to breaking her coffee table. I wondered what could have been so bad that Edward did not want me to know about.

Edward and I claimed our seats on the couch again. Jasper remained sitting in the floor. Emmett and Rosalie came and sat across the room form us. Carlisle came out of his office. Esme was holding a camera- whatever this was it was going to be funny.

Just then, I saw Alice coming down the stairs at a human pace. Obviously, she wanted everyone to see her enter the room. Then she started to run because of excitement. I turned to see Edward hang his head in defeat at the sight of Alice. I saw something brown in her hands and wondered what it could be. I heard jingle bells, which may have or not have been a good sign.

When she got to the center of the living room she said, "Edward, because you picked on my poor husband…" she winked at a smiling Jasper. "You must wear you punishment outfit."

"No." he said sullenly.

"Bella…" she turned to me for support. Immediately, Edward turned pleading eyes on me. I closed mine to make it easier to be firm.

"Nope Edward- wear it!" I commanded. I really wanted to see what all of his fuss was about.

"You heard the lady go change." Alice said as she threw him a jingling pile of brown clothes.

He ran out to the bathroom and stayed there for about ten minutes. What could be taking him so long? He was a vampire with super fast speed. Was it really so embarrassing that he did not want to come out? When he finally did, I saw why.

Head hung low and shoulders slumped Edward came back into the room. I could not believe what I was seeing at first. My jaw dropped when I saw him wearing a Rudolph outfit. He had the little fake antlers perched on top of his messy bronze hair with a hat over them that read, 'big buck', a red nose covering the end of his real one, and he was wearing a tan, deer skin colored jumpsuit. It fit him well and the costume had red harness straps and jingle bells down the back of it. On the butt of the costume there was a small tail. I fell to the floor laughing again when I saw Edward, no, Rudolph, sit down next to me. The rest of the Cullen's were laughing with me. Then I saw a bright flash and knew why Esme had the camera. Edward growled.

"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had a very tiny…." Emmett was such a pervert that he could make anything dirty, but thankfully Rose whapped him before he could finish the song.

"Better be a good little reindeer Edward, or else Bella might have to _whip_ you!" Jasper quipped between laughs. I was giggling so hard that I was turning a bright red color.

Edward, however, had a grim expression on his face. Alice said, "Now, because Jasper has to wear his all day, you are fully aware that you have to wear it all weekend too- no matter where you go and the same rules apply as last year. Got it?"

"yes." He said angrily.

Emmett burst out singing once more, "Bella won't let you join in any reindeer games…"

Rose whapped him another time between giggles.

"Stop being a pervert or you won't be playing any 'reindeer games'!" She said to shut him up when he attempted to begin a third time.

"Sorry Rose…."

**Emmett is kinda a perv and don't you think Edward would cute as Rudolph? I do. **


	3. Chapter 3: Snowmen and The Grinch

**AN: Thanks to ****edwardandbella4ever for some of her awesome ideas. I hope you like it. Sorry if it isn't that funny but I was in a bad mood- so you can get the Grinch thing. Please Review! Sorry if it is too long and if the lyrics aren't right blame the internet. **

**Chapter Three: Snowmen and the Grinch**

When all of us managed to stop laughing, I sat up and wiped the tears away from my eyes. Alice excitedly resumed what she was doing previous to the costume business. I went and sat by her on the floor to see what was in the box. As she opened it, I saw what was inside. I was a little disappointed, but shocked at the same time.

What was in the box was not Christmas decorations, but instead Christmas plans. I couldn't believe that Alice had a whole box dedicated to the various Christmas designs she had put together over the past ten years. I grabbed a folder out of the box and began to flip through it.

"What exactly is this Alice?" I asked. She was preoccupied so Jasper answered my question.

"These are all of the ways that she has decorated the places that we have lived over the past ten years."

"Wow." I said. I wouldn't put it past Alice to do something like this when I thought about it.

"Every design that has been used during that time period is in this box- that way she will be sure that she never does the same thing twice, and so the designers won't either."

"Designer's?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, she is calling them now." He said. We both turned to Alice who was waiting as the phone at the other end of the line rang.

"Uh! Don't people know how to answer a phone?" Alice screamed in frustration as she snapped it shut and threw it across the room. The phone hit the wall and broke in half. I was a stunned.

Rosalie got up to leave when Alice threw the phone. Edward came and sat by me. As he sat down he jingled and I had to suppress my laughter. Carlisle and Esme came to stand by us and Emmett came too.

"Is all of this really necessary?" Carlisle asked. He probably knew what would happen if Alice did not get through to the designers and I was guessing that it wouldn't be pretty.

"NECESSARY!? Is it Necessary?!" Alice started to shout at Carlisle. I turned to Edward and gave him a terrified look. He just shook his head in amusement and pointed back to Alice who was now standing on the coffee table and waving her hands wildly in the air at Carlisle. The end of her Santa hat was flying.

"Oh it is! And I don't need them, but it is NECESSARY! All of it is NECESSARY! How can it be Christmas with no decorations?!" Alice was wild eyed and her hat hung lopsided on her head in front of one of her eyes as she was hunched over on top of the table gasping for air. Jasper looked afraid of his tiny wife. Carlisle looked as if he was about to go hide under a rock until Christmas was over. Emmett was suppressing laughter like Edward.

"Does this always happen when she can't decorate?" I asked Edward in a whisper.

Everyone's head shot to me. Oops. I forgot they could hear me. Edward looked at me as if I had just said, "I hate you and never want to see you again." Jasper put his head in his hands. Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme looked at me sympathetically. Alice's head snapped up out of her hunch. I took it that this was the calm before the storm. She fixed her Santa hat before starting for a second time.

"CAN"T DECORATE?" She screeched. "Oh- I can decorate and I will show you all! But first- Carlisle, because of your comment, and Emmett you are included in this because you were laughing- GO PUT ON YOUR COSTUMES!" she commanded them while stomping her foot. I thought the coffee table was about to break in half.

Carlisle looked scared to death while Emmett looked as if he was about to strangle petite Alice. Jasper and Edward were smiling now that their father and brother had to wear their suits to- whatever they might be.

"Oh, hell no!" Emmett bellowed. "You are not getting me in that thing again. And I didn't laugh!"

"LIAR!" Alice yelled. "Rose!"

"What?" Rosalie asked. She practically appeared out of thin air and I was getting more confused every second this went on. What was up with the costumes?

**Rosalie POV**

I was in my room reading a magazine when I heard Alice start screaming about decorating. Oh joy- she didn't get them on the phone again. Great. I sighed. Then I heard her call my name. I ran down stares to find a confused Bella, smiling Edward and Jasper, shocked Carlisle, laughing Esme, and one extremely pissed Emmett. Fabulous.

"What?" I asked.

"Make your husband go get in his costume NOW!" Alice said while glaring at Emmett. I had no clue what he did, but he probably laughed at her little tirade…again. Didn't these boys remember anything form last year? I did not want to get in the way of Alice so I simply said,

"Emmett, darling, go get in the freakin' outfit before Alice loses it and I don't touch you ever again!" I eyed him critically.

"But Rose, baby, I didn't do anything I swear." He pleaded.

"LIAR!" Alice yelled while pointing her finger in his face. "You laughed at me being upset!"

"Emmett- just put on the damn costume." I said before leaving. He stalked off behind me muttering fine.

**Carlisle POV **

I watched Emmett leave the room in defeat to Alice and Rosalie. Esme was now laughing so hard that she was actually on the floor.

"Alice, please, anything but that." I begged.

"No. You know the rules that we established so go!" she said with authority. There were few things I hated more than that blasted Christmas costume Alice had got for me when she bought the boys their so called 'punishment costumes'.

"You mean the rules you established?" I said.

"No- we established them together- so go."

"Esme…." I turned to Esme to plead with her, but she told me to go change between laughs.

I walked out of the room feeling more like a two year old with every step I took.

**Bella POV**

I was so confused at what had just happened that I had to ask someone. What was up with all of these outfits and 'punishment' and 'rules'?

"Edward. What is all of this about?" I asked puzzled.

"Well, you see Bella, last year Alice had a mental breakdown…"

"DID NOT!" Alice cut in. Edward continued.

"Okay, a fit, when she could not get the designers to come and decorate after she attacked them with a blow up displays. You should have seen it." He started laughing. "They tried to put them in the yard, but Alice went all psycho…..and she…..she….she took every single one of the deflated displays, (there was a Rudolph an elf, Frosty, and the Grinch), and she started to throw them at the people and scream 'what are you doing to my yard! You can't put this here- they are stupid looking!' Well, Emmett, Jasper, and I picked on her about it- so she bought us these hideous outfits to wear for a weekend as penalty for making fun of her. When she got them she thought that Carlisle should have one too- just in case he said anything. So the rules were that if we made fun of her decorations or behavior around Christmas we had to wear these for a week." Edward said _these_ with an obvious note of disgust in his voice.

"It was so funny….I remember seeing tiny Alice running across the yard chasing the deign team with inflatable characters." Jasper laughed. "She nailed one of them in the head with the Grinch….and the lady was on the ground screaming stop…." If Jasper could cry, he would because he was laughing so hard.

"She attacked the women with the Grinch like they were having a pillow fight. It took Emmett and me to pull her off of the terrified woman." Edward said with wide eyes.

I burst out laughing because I could actually picture Alice running across the yard chasing someone with Christmas decorations as a weapon to beat them down with.

Then I heard a loud clash/boom sound form upstairs and Emmett scream, "No, Rose, please don't make me!"

"It is part of the punishment dufus. Get down there now!" I heard Rose yell at him. Reluctantly I saw Emmett- or what appeared to be Emmett- come down the stairs. Carlisle followed him. When they came into full view, all of us exploded with laughter for a second time. I thought I was about to die form lack of oxygen.

**Emmett POV**

I could kill Alice-and Rose- for making me do this. It didn't help when I got down the stairs and came into the living room that they all burst out laughing. I thought Bella was about to asphyxiate from the color of her face. Luckily Carlisle was behind me so I knew that they weren't just laughing at me.

Alice gave me a death glare so I slipped on the retarded top hat, and put the pipe in my mouth. Then I heard even more giggling, and I saw Alice drop to the floor in a fit of giggles. I fell down laughing to when I saw Carlisle. The pipe went flying out of my mouth in the process and hit Bella in the forehead which made me laugh harder.

**Bella POV**

Emmett was wearing none other than a white three layered costume. At first I did not know what he was supposed to be, but then I realized. He was Frosty. He looked so dumb in the layered costume. The costume, that was really three pieces of fabric sewn together to create three puffy layers to resemble Frosty, looked like three white trash bags full of cotton when it hung off of Emmett because all of the cotton was collected at the bottom of each layer so it sagged- a lot. He thrust the hat on his head when Alice eyed him and shoved the pipe in his mouth too.

I was sure that I was purple from laughing because of Emmett. But then I saw Carlisle. He was the Grinch. He had on green tights like Jasper, except his were furry. The gloves he was wearing and the shoe covers curled out to where his fingers looked like long sprouts of fur coming out from his furry green hands. The end of the shoe covers curled up too to make his feet appear to naturally curve up like Jaspers Elf shoes. On top of his head he was wearing a cap that was green and fuzzy and pointed at the top. Carlisle was cowering behind Emmett in hopes of not being seen, but we all saw him just the same. Esme was on the floor in stitches with us. Then I felt something hit me in the forehead when Emmett fell to the ground laughing because of Carlisle.

Gross. What had hit me was the pipe that had been in Emmett's mouth. I wiped his slobber off of my forehead and was about to say something when Edward did.

"Mr. Grinch….." I heard Edward roar out in a deep voice between laughs.

I got an idea. I didn't want to torture poor Carlisle, but I couldn't resist and Alice would love it. When I was able to catch my breath, I got up and began to circle Carlisle singing. But, before I could start, Alice must have seen what I was planning because she was at my side and motioned for Esme to join us. Together we circled Carlisle and began to sing. Esme sang the first part while circling him.

"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.  
You really are a heel.  
You're as cuddly as a cactus,  
You're as charming as an eel.  
Mr. Grinch." She sang as deeply as she could.

"You're a bad banana  
With a greasy black peel." I sang deeply too. All of us were really getting into this and the boys were rolling.

"You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.  
Your heart's an empty hole.  
Your brain is full of spiders,  
You've got garlic in your soul.  
Mr. Grinch." Alice sang. I thought it fit perfectly because he had shot down her Christmas idea.

"I wouldn't touch you, with a  
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole." I said. I turned up my nose at him and began to walk away as part of the act.

"You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.  
You have termites in your smile.  
You have all the tender sweetness  
Of a seasick crocodile.  
Mr. Grinch." Esme half crouched as she circled him.

"Given the choice between the two of you  
I'd take the seasick crocodile." I said as I closed my eyes, stood on my tip toes, and pointed at Carlisle. He slumped his shoulders and frowned under his fuzzy green hat that stuck straights up like the Grinch's hair.

"You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.  
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.  
Your heart is full of unwashed socks  
Your soul is full of gunk.  
Mr. Grinch." Alice sang as she took her turn circling him. He looked sheepishly down at his feet.

"The three words that best describe you,  
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk." I said matter-of-factly.

"You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.  
You're the king of sinful sots.  
Your heart's a dead tomato splot  
With moldy purple spots,  
Mr. Grinch." Alice repeated the lyrics perfectly.

"Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing  
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable  
rubbish imaginable,  
Mangled up in tangled up knots." I pointed to him accusingly again.

"You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.  
With a nauseous super-naus.  
You're a crooked jerky jockey  
And you drive a crooked horse.  
Mr. Grinch." Esme sang evilly.

"You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool  
sandwich  
With arsenic sauce" Alice finished.

Carlisle looked like he was about to cry or either hit something.

"Sorry Mr. Grinch." Esme said as she kissed him softly. He smiled weakly. Alice apologized too.

"Yeah, sorry Mr. Grinch, but don't come between me and my decorations ever again!"

_Okay this chapter wasn't as good as I wanted it to be but it was okay. Please review- it makes me very happy._


	4. Chapter 4: Shipping

**AN: First of all I don't own Twilight so don't sue me. Second of all I hope you like this chapter and PLEASE REVIEW! It makes me very, very happy. Oh and If the way you spell Kranks is different my bad I thought it was with a k, and please tell me if you would want this chapter from Alice's POV because I have already started top to re-write this chapter in it. Thanks.**

**Peace out- me**

**Chapter Four: Shipping**

The remainder of Saturday was spent going over plans with Alice until it was dark. Then we all watched _Christmas with the Kranks_. Alice thought it would be a good idea to get more into the Christmas Spirit with a movie.

It ended with a pillow fight between Alice and Rose, Emmett and Jasper wresting, and me falling asleep on Edward's lap. He carried me up to bed, and as he did, I woke up.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up." He said.

"That's okay…." I mumbled. I was asleep again before he even put me under the covers, but I still felt the press of his rock hard body next to mine before I fell asleep.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NO ONE DAY SHIPPING?" I heard Alice scream from downstairs. She was so loud that her scream woke me up form a deep sleep. When I opened me eyes, I saw Edward rolling on the bed next to me in laughter. He was jingling as he did so which made me giggle some.

"It is still early, why is Alice screaming about no one day shipping?" I asked while rubbing my eyes and yawning. Edward stopped laughing immediately.

"Sorry she woke you. You can go back to sleep." Ugh…he was so overprotective and worrying.

"No- I am up. Now, why was she screaming?" he began to fill me in on the events that had occurred while I was asleep.

"Well, first of all, Alice finally decided how she was going to decorate the house." He shuddered when he said this, and it made his jingle bells ring. I suppressed a laugh. But then I wondered if her plan was really that bad.

"Then she spent the whole night on the internet trying to order Christmas decorations. She got some of them, but not all. This morning she found a website that sold Christmas lights. It was the same place that she got them from last year. She wanted to order them with one day shipping, but, not realizing that it was Sunday and that the mail doesn't run on Sundays, she was demanding one day shipping and calling the person she was on the phone with a 'stupid moron' that 'did not understand her desperate need for Christmas lights in one day.'" he quoted her.

I could see tiny Alice up on the chair at the desk- again- as she waved her hands wildly in the air while screaming at the sales person on the phone. I almost laughed out loud. I wanted to go and see what Alice was up to down stairs. This was probably really funny, and my theory was strengthened when I heard Emmett laughing down stairs. That was followed by a loud smack and then a crash and more screaming. Edward and I both got up, and he ran me downstairs to the living room. When we got there, I was gaping at the scene before me.

"Shut up Emmett this is not funny and if you ever want out of that Frosty costume you will shut up now!" Rose hissed at him for his own good. I was guessing she hated the outfit just as much he did. The smack must have been her hitting him.

"Yes Rose…." Emmett said as his laughter ceased- for the moment.

"Alice, honey, calm down." Jasper said. That explained the waves of calm hitting me.

"NO! I NEED one-day shipping! What do you not understand about that?" Alice looked appalled. My theory was right. She was standing in the computer chair with the Santa hat still lopsided on her head and was waving her arms about wildly.

The crash that I had heard was the computer. I noticed this when I looked at Esme who looked to be at her wits end.

"Alice Cullen. Stop. Look at what you did to the computer. Carlisle won't be happy." Esme was actually mad. This was a first.

"He can buy a new one!" Alice said before going back to arguing with the sales person. Wait a second- I thought after she said that- has Alice really lost her mind? Did she just_ yell_ at Esme? Wow. This day was going to be either very bad or very funny.

When I turned to look at Edward, I had to look down at the floor. He was now doubled over with Emmett. At least they found it amusing. I would have been laughing too, but Jasper was trying too hard to calm Alice down. Stupid calming vampire, I thought. The least he could do was let us enjoy Alice's fury.

"I don't CARE if the mail doesn't run on Sunday! I will pay you three times as much to get them here TODAY!" Alice chirped. She fell silent and got an even angrier look on her face. Oh-no. The sales person must have said something wrong- well wrong to Alice.

"Well you know what, never mind- cancel the order. I will go somewhere else!" Alice screamed one last time at the person on the phone before turning and throwing it at the wall. Two cell phones broken in one weekend. Now I saw why Esme said Carlisle would be mad. Now I knew why Carlisle had said that yesterday. Was it just me, or did Alice get more violent around the holidays.

We all fell silent after she threw the phone and it collided with the wall and shattered. She was hunched over panting on top of her chair. She looked wild-eyed when she turned to us. I knew that was not a good sign. When I saw a little haze pass over them, I knew instinctively that this could only get worse.

"Jazz…" Alice began. "Go get in the car now." She said calmly.

"Alice, are you sure that….." Jasper started to protest.

"Go get in the car now!" She commanded him.

"Yes dear." Was his only response as he grabbed his keys and ran out the door.


	5. Chapter 4: Shipping Alice's POV

**AN: Yes this is the same last chapter but I thought you might want to see what happens from Alice's POV. I already wrote it so never mind the last chapter's request. Hope you like it. Sorry if it isn't that funny- it sets up for the next chapter. Let me know if there are any mistakes or if you have questions.**

**Yeah, yeah I don't own any of it. **

**Shipping (Alice's POV)**

Finally, after we had watched our Christmas movie for the night at my command, Rose and I pillow fighting, Emmett and Jasper wrestling, and Bella falling asleep on Edward, I could search the web for my desired decorations. It started off successfully. I had found the perfect place to get the tree from, and ordered everything else imaginable that I would need in my plan. But, then I came to the light issue.

In every place I searched, I could not find anything I liked. These were too much like Charlie brown lights. Those were not the right color. The other ones were not't long enough. No double cord attachment. Finally, after about four hours of searching and one very worried Jasper, I found the place I had used last year. I was ecstatic while placing my order for the lights- this is, of course, until I wanted my one day shipping.

"I would like one day shipping please." I said curtly to the person on the other end of the phone.

"Sorry but there is no one day shipping available for Sundays." The woman said politely.

"What type of stupid moron does not have one day shipping on Sundays?" I was getting mad. "Do you not understand my desperate need for Christmas lights in one day?"

"I am sorry miss, but there is no one day shipping." She repeated to me. I guess she thought I had not heard her the first time; so I yelled back at her.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NO ONE DAY SHIPPING?" At the moment, I had forgotten Bella was sleeping. I would deal with Edward later. Right now, all I wanted were those damned Christmas lights! I was oblivious to everything else.

"I am sorry miss, but the mail does not run on Sundays so they won't be shipped until Monday. So they won't get there until Tuesday." The sales woman tried to calmly explain to me, but I could hear the annoyed edge in her voice.

"What is your name miss?" I asked more calmly while putting my hand on my forehead and closing my eyes. I knew that she would probably lie to me, but I didn't care.

"Cindy…" she said nervously.

"Well, Cindy, I would appreciate it if I could get one-day shipping." I said it through clenched teeth. I could feel Jasper trying to calm me, but it didn't help.

"I am sorry Miss, but I can't control the mail." That was the straw that broke the camels back.

"NO! I NEED one-day shipping damn it! What do you not understand about that?" I was outraged.

"Miss. Please calm down. The mail does NOT run on Sundays….." I was so mad that I hit something to try and calm myself down some. I didn't realize I had broken the computer by hitting it so hard that it flew two feet away from the desk until Esme said something to me.

"Alice Cullen. Stop. Look at what you did to the computer. Carlisle won't be happy." Esme chided me.

"He can buy a new one!" I snapped back before starting to pay attention to the shocked and confused sales person.

"It can't be shipped until Monday." Was the end of her reason.

"I don't CARE if the mail doesn't run on Sunday! I will pay you three times as much to get them here TODAY!"

"I am sorry but there is nothing I can do." Wow. I thought when she responded in a calm voice. This person was either really good at not showing they pissed or she was the nicest person I had EVER talked to.

"Well you know what, never mind- cancel the order. I will go somewhere else!" I said while snapping the phone shut. My rage came out again and I hummed the cell phone at the wall. It shattered into about ten pieces on contact. A haze of want clouded my vision. I didn't even notice Bella and Edward had entered the room. All I could see was Christmas lights blinking on and off in a million different colors in my head. I could see our house the exact way I had [planned it and I knew that I HAD to get those lights by today.

"Jazz… Go get in the car now." I said as calmly as I could. My vision of getting what I wanted had helped bring my anger level down a lot.

"Alice, are you sure that….." He started to protest.

"Go get in the car now!" I told him.

"Yes dear." Was his only response. He grabbed the keys and ran out the door.

Instead of seeing sugar plums dance in my head, I saw Christmas lights and decorations. I knew what had to be done, but the question was- would I be sane after doing it?

_Sorry for the tiny cliff hanger. I know these two chapters are short, but you got two in one night so be happy and review. I hope you like them and feel free to give ideas. Now that the site is working right again, I should post tomorrow night- if I don't have too much homework. Thanks. _


	6. Chapter 5: Lights, Lights, Lights!

**Are reviews too much to ask for? Honestly. Just click the little box and type at least one word- even if it is 'suck'. PLEASE! Well now that that is said. On with the story. **

**Chapter Five: Lights, Lights, Lights!**

**Jasper POV**

I sprinted out to the car in worry. I was worried about what exactly Alice would do and what she was planning to do. I loved her, but sometimes Alice was a little hard to control when she wanted something. I cranked the car and waited for her. In an instant she was running towards the car. When she jumped in, she screamed "GO!"

**Bella POV**

I was so confused about what had just happened. Most of it was funny though, and now that Jasper was out of the room, I was laughing my head off about it with Edward and Emmett. Alice really had lost her mind. In her little rage she had broken another cell phone and the computer. Carlisle would be mad.

When the laughter subsided, I looked over at the computer that lay two feet away form the computer desk in about ten broken heaps. The boys began to clean up the mess of broken electronics as Esme went back to her room and Rosalie sat reading her magazine. I had nothing to do since Rudolph and Frosty were taking care of everything. I plopped down on the couch across form Rose and waited.

**Alice POV (meanwhile….)**

_Lights. Lights. Lights._ That was the only thought running through my head. What made it worse was that I could see me getting them. I just had to wait. We had been driving around Port Angeles for what felt like forever. Every store that we went past was either closed or I could see that they didn't have what I wanted before we even went into the store.

I was getting anxious to buy the lights now. Jasper was still trying to calm me down, but I could tell that he was worrying about what might happen by the look on his face. Suddenly, I started to feel a vision coming on as we neared an intersection. My eyes glazed over. When I snapped out of it, I was excited and a little bit ashamed.

The place where we would go to get these lights that I so desperately wanted would have my family mocking my need for the next 100 years. But, at this point, anything was worth those lights! As we neared the intersection, I decided that despite the place, we were going there! I screamed at Jasper.

"TURN NOW JAZZ!"

**Jasper POV**

I had seen Alice go into vision mode, and I knew that she saw something that made her afraid of herself because I could feel her mixed emotions. It was starting to make me uneasy and regret bringing her. All of a sudden, she screamed at me to turn at the intersection we were at. I obeyed. We went down a small hill and into a parking lot. When I looked at what store we were at I slammed on brakes- good thing we were wearing seatbelts. I knew now that Alice was officially desperate and had lost it.

In front of us, stretching out the whole length of the parking lot was a Super Wal-mart.

**Alice POV**

They had it. Everything I wanted in lights they had. The good people at Wal-mart did not know what was coming. Never before had they seen a wrath like that of Alice Cullen. I was bouncing in my seat now. It was obvious that I had overcome my phobia of the store that I was once upon a time afraid to death to go in. Jasper shot me a warning glance. Nervously, he parked the car as close to the store as possible so he wouldn't have to carry all of our lights that far when I was through here. I went to open the door but it was locked. I turned to Jasper who was looking warningly at me.

"Alice, please remember where we are. LOOK at this place! Why are we here?" he asked in a shocked and pleading voice. "What in the freak are we doing here?" he pounded his head on the steering wheel. He sat off the horn just as a woman was walking in front of us. She turned around and slapped the hood of the car while yelling various profanities at him. Then she gave Jazz the bird and walked off. I laughed before responding.

"Jasper- I NEED those lights." I said.

"Okay, but please don't go too crazy in there. There are innocent people and children." He reminded me.

"Silly Jasper, it won't be that bad." He hesitated, but then unlocked the doors. We got out of the car and a look of horror crossed his face.

**Jasper POV**

Against better judgment, I had decided to let Alice out of the car and unleash her on the innocent shoppers and workers that were at the store. I was feeling better when she told me not to worry, until we got out of the car.

That was when it hit me that I was still wearing the ridiculous elf costume as I stood in the middle of the parking lot! It felt like I was having the dream, even though I didn't, where you are walking down the street and suddenly realize you're naked. I covered myself up with my hands like I was.

"Alice!" I hissed at her. She turned and looked at me. She was smiling evilly. "I am still wearing this stupid costume! Look I have extra clothes in the car, please, please, please, please, let me change." I begged her. I even put my hands up as a sign of it. She just skipped over to me.

"Now Jasper, you know the rules. Any time, any place, any where." She said sweetly.

"But Alice- here? Of all places to make me wear it- HERE!?" I tried to reason with her.

"Nope. You are Santa's little helper today, and you have to stay dressed like him."

She gave the end of her Santa hat a flip and grabbed my hand. I knew that there was no way to change her mind. I slumped in defeat, and let Alice lead me to my doom.

**Alice POV**

If Jasper could have died of embarrassment, he would have already been dead. As soon as we walked into the door, a little boy ran up to him an asked,

"Wow! Cool an elf! Did you come all the way from the North Pole? Wait, aren't you a little big to be an elf?"

Jazz growled in response. Not so nice an elf was he…..

The kid ran back to his mom saying, "Mommy! Why didn't you ever tell me elves were evil! He growled at me!" The little kid started to cry. The mom hurried her son away from us while glancing over her shoulder.

I was shocked. I thought only Emmett would make children cry. Though, Jasper was ridiculously tall to be an elf. I felt sorry for making him go through this though as I looked at the expression of mortification and annoyance on his face.

"Cheer up Jazz!" I said.

"Kind of hard to when you are wearing something like this." He gestured.

"Oh- look! We can get your picture with Santa! That will cheer you up! Come on Jazz!" I squealed.

**Jasper POV**

I couldn't believe I had just made a kid cry! I had to stop hanging out with Emmett so much. He was rubbing off on me. I wanted to go and apologize, but it was hard enough to just be in a store with all of these people- all of these delicious smelling……I let my senses over power me and I closed my eyes as I slumped my shoulders and inhaled. I was glad that Alice couldn't see what I was thinking or my expression because she was still looking at the child in shock. Yet, Alice thankfully snapped me out of my trance, and I quite breathing.

"Cheer up Jazz!" she said to me as she patted my back reassuringly.

"Kind of hard to when you are wearing something like this." I said. I hated this costume and I had to find a way to get out of it. Just when I thought this day could not get any worse Alice said,

"Oh- look! We can get your picture with Santa! Come on Jazz!" I groaned.

**Alice **

I didn't care what Jasper or anybody else thought. He made an adorable elf! I am sure that the other girl elves that were at the Santa display thought so too because of few of them looked at him in a way that I didn't like. I held on to him tighter.

"Honestly Alice, do you know how old I am? I am way past the age of ten!" he growled so only I could her him. We started having one of those fast conversations that only he and I could hear because we were vampires.

"Come on Jazz, it will be so cute!"

"Not if I bite Santa while I am in his lap!"

"But, you won't bite Santa! I can see this…Please just do it for me."

"Fine."

"Thank you so much Jasper!" I squealed in delight.

As soon as our conversation was over, I noticed we were the next people to be called. We got a few looks form some of the elves and the photographer. Santa looked appalled when he saw Jasper coming for him.

**Santa POV (just so you know Santa is a girl- yes they do have girls that dress up as Santa I know it's weird.)**

It had been an extremely long day and I was in this ridiculous outfit. I was just happy that my shift was about to be over. Saying, "Have you been naughty or nice" and "What do you want for Christmas?" Gets old fast. I had only one more person to go and I was so glad it was about to be over.

I got the next to last little kid off of my knee and looked up to see who was next. When I did, my jaw hit the floor. I couldn't believe that a boy over six feet tall was in an elf costume in the middle of Wal-Mart! And, he was coming to get a picture with me! I would defiantly take the last picture with this guy!

He looked scared to death while the pixie like girl beside him looked elated. He nervously came up and sat on the edge of my knee. I closed my eyes to collect my thoughts before saying the required lines.

"Have you been naughty or nice this year?" It was so hard to fake the deep voice and keep it form cracking. He must have guessed what I was feeling because he twitched away from me. It was also hard to keep control while someone this beautiful was so close to me. I was about to melt. I needed a fan- immediately!

"Nice." He whispered. Dang- that's to bad.

"Well then, what do you want for Christmas?" _Please say me! _I thought.

"To not have to wear this outfit and take this picture." He said shame-facedly.

Too bad. I turned after he replied so that the photographer could take our picture. Even if he didn't get a copy, I definitely was. This would be the one year I would always remember as loving the chance to be Santa!

**Jasper POV**

"I feel violated." I said to Alice in a quick whisper. We started conversing to ourselves.

"Why? Jazz it wasn't that bad."

"NO- you don't understand. That Santa was a woman!"

"Oh….your point exactly?"

"I could feel all the lust coming off of her and it was sickening!" I said horrified. I shuddered at the thought of her emotions. I put my head in my hands.

"OH!" Alice gasped. "I should go back there and rip….."

"Alice!" I cut in. "Just remember where we are. But then again, I wouldn't stop you." I said. She looked around and a smile crossed her face- obviously thinking about her lights instead now.

"That's right! Jasper go get four- no five- buggies and meet me in the lighting area! And Jasper, remember, no growling at the humans!"

I groaned and ran off to get the carts. Why had I let her out of the house?

_Hope you like. This isn't my favorite chapter but I had a minor case of writers block and it helps set you up for what Alice is about to do! Review!_


	7. Chapter 6: Fuse

_I don't own Twilight -tear-_

**AN: Well I am glad that so many people added this to their story alert but I would appreciate a few more reviews, but oh well. I change POV's a lot but not as much as lat chapter. And the cat thing will be important in the next chapter or two. Enjoy. ;)**

**Chapter Six: Fuse**

**Bella POV**

Rose and Emmett had run off to their room while Esme was in hers reading. Edward and I went back to my house for a while so I could asked Charlie if I could stay one more night-which he said yes to-, cook him dinner, and grab more clothes.

Soon enough, we were about to set of for Edward's house again. But, we stopped when we got outside. There, on my door step, was a very old gray cat.

"Where did she come from?" Edward asked puzzled.

"I don't know." I said. Then I started to talk to the cat. "Where did you come from little girl, huh?" I picked up the cat. Maybe I shouldn't have done this, but she seemed clean enough and it's not like it could kill me.

"Bella! Put that thing down! It might have fleas or some type of disease!" Edward hissed at me.

"Oh calm down! It's not like it can kill me." Stupid over-protective-vampire I loved.

"You never know…"

"I'll just give it some food and then we'll go, but, wait," I cut him off as I turned back to him. "He needs a name. What should we call him?"

Edward gave me that are-you-serious look. "You want to keep it?"

"Well, maybe. What should we call her? Come on Edward….I will call you Eddie if you don't say something." I teased.

"You wouldn't dare." He said with wide eyes. I gave him the 'I'm waiting' look. "Um…Mama cat? I don't know." He pleaded.

"No…I like Grandma. We'll call you grandma since you are old and gray." I said.

I gave Grandma some leftovers, and soon enough, we were at Edward's house again thanks to his hasty driving. Edward and I sat on the couch watching holiday movies- _The Grinch _to be exact. It was a little uncomfortable because of his bells digging into my back, but I got past it. When we were half way through the movie, he asked me,

"Do you think Carlisle would have liked to have watched this with us?"

"Ha. I don't think so. He would probably kill Alice if she made him go to work in that. But, at least he took off saying he was sick so he didn't have to." I turned to face him so that now I was lying right beside him. "Would you like you go anywhere? Rudolph?" I asked mischievously.

"Not until tomorrow." He said as he looked up at his lopsided antlers. Then he looked back at me as he realized something. "So- are you and Charlie putting up a Christmas Tree? You didn't have it up yet."

"Yes. Charlie hasn't gotten it yet." I said, but I had no clue when he was going to get it. We were supposed to put it up this week. But that hadn't happened yet. "I would ask you the same but I already know the answer." I responded.

"Yeah, Alice gets a little excited about Christmas." He said with a small chuckle.

"A little?" I asked sarcastically. "That is a very large understatement."

"Okay, very over-excited."

"That sounds about right. Why does she by the way?"

"Well…." He was cut off by the sound of someone tearing down their drive-way at a ridiculous speed.

"Speak of the devil….." I said.

In a minute, the front door of the house flew open and banged against the wall. Alice stood triumphantly in the door way with a huge smirk on her face. Her Santa hat was perched on her cocked head still and all she needed to complete her super-hero pose was a cape.

"Alice?" I asked. Edward looked a little annoyed. He must have been reading her thoughts or trying to.

"Yes- it is I! Alice! Master of all Christmas decorations and plans." She declared.

"Oh great Alice, we bow before your awesome-ness!" I gave a small bow, as much as I could over the back of the couch. Edward and I were both kneeling on the cushions so we could kneel and face her in the door way.

"You should! My plan is amazing!" she said exultantly.

"Alice….." Edward groaned. "Please stop singing High School Musical! You sing it all the time now! Please stop!" he said as he butted his head against the back of the couch. "Remind me why we let you see that movie?"

"Because I wanted too and you couldn't stop me, and …..No." Alice said as she threw her head back pompously. "If you don't want to hear it, don't read my thoughts to see my plan! Wait like a good little vampire."

Just then, Jasper flew into the living room and dropped ten bags into the middle of the floor. He did this about ten times and ran at vampire speed on each trip. When he was done, he sat down while unnecessarily gasping for air.

"Did you get it all Jazz?" Alice implored as she bounced over to us.

"Yes dear…" he said morosely.

There was something about Jasper's expression that wasn't just right; he had a very vague look on his face and was staring off into space. I looked at Edward questioningly. He appeared to be deep in thought- apparently snooping around in Jasper's thoughts now. I waited until he was done.

"Good. God." Edward said to Jasper when he snapped out of it. "And I thought I had it bad having to wear the costume around here!"

"What happened to you Jasper? Are you okay?" I asked him. He looked at me like he was thunderstruck

**Japer POV**

Was I okay? WAS I OKAY!? I was the farthest thing from okay I had ever been since I got banned form Toys 'r' Us! I was humiliated, violated, shamed, and stalked all in one day! NO! I was not okay!

"NO!" I said to Bella. "I have been humiliated, violated, shamed, and stalked all in one day!" I repeated my thoughts to her. She looked confused, shocked and interested so I began to recount my tale for her and Edward who had already seen some of it in my thoughts. Soon, they were laughing and I was fuming.

I recalled the part where I realized I was still wearing the costume and took the picture with Santa tersely. Then I went into more detail when Alice went outside to do only God knows what to the house.

"Well, after I got the buggies, Alice went down aisles and aisles of Christmas decorations. When we were half way down the rows we were searching through, I noticed the lady that had played Santa!" I shuddered. "She was following us! She stayed right behind ME for about ten minutes. It was so creepy! And when she walked by me to get past me and the wall one time, she got all on me and was pushing herself on me like she could hardly squeeze through the gap! And you know what she said, 'Excuse me sexy.' I felt, no FEEL, so violated! And, then, I went into the bathroom, which is a truly vile place! It is viler than Mike Newton!"

"That is very vile!" Edward and Bella said in unison with wide eyes.

"Well I went in there to try and wash some 'HER' fungus off of me, and I was standing in front of the mirror. Someone came out of the stall behind me, and I could see them in the mirror. And it was HER- no HIM. The SHE was a HE. It was a cross-dresser! AHH! That made things even worse because the he- no she- I'll just call it 'it'- well 'it' got all up behind me and…….and……" I trailed off in horror with wide eyes.

I was dry sobbing now and I was curled into the fetal position on the floor rocking back and forth at the memory of my trauma. The only way that situation could have been worse was if it was Michael Jackson!

"You have to be kidding me!" Edward roared between laughs. Bella was turning purple from laughing too hard. Their laughs made me compose myself and come out of my ball.

"Well, 'it' was all like 'let me give you my number' and 'what are you doing this weekend?"! I was so frightened and disgusted I just ran out of the bathroom. Then when I came out, Alice was in hysterics. She was sprawled out like a two year old on the aisle floor. But, she was LAUGHING at what had happened to ME." I said shocked.

Emmett and Rose came down stairs laughing their heads off with Esme and Carlisle. They had heard my entire story. Great, now Emmett would never let me live this down.

"Oh, can it, Frosty!" I snapped.

"At least I am not the one who got hit on by a he-she-wanna-be elf boy!" Emmett boomed. I clenched my teeth and continued my story.

"Anyway, when we were going through one aisle, in the middle of the store, Alice just starts throwing box after box into the buggies! Screaming all the while, 'These are them! I finally have my lights!' People were looking at her like she was crazy. She was just throwing them in random carts five at a time. Before I knew what happened, every buggy was full and the whole shelf on the aisle was empty. It looked like a tornado had hit! Then we got to the check out and there were so many items that the computer said 'overload' and we had to split it up into three different sections so that the computer could handle the amount of items purchased. "

By the end of my little narrative about what had happened, everyone in the room was doubled over in laughter while I was still in a state of shock. Obviously, they would never doubt Alice again.

**Alice POV**

I could hear everyone in the living room laughing at Jasper and my little shopping trip. I didn't care though. Neither would they when they saw the house! I was beaming while I spread the lights over the roof. Now I understood the usefulness of having bush lights that were in a net style that were extra-large. I definitely had to take my hat off to the good people at Wal-Mart for making this possible.

I was on the roof plugging in lights when I heard a nose in the pile of destroyed boxes that the lights came in that were lying on the ground around the garden. I peered over the edge of the house and saw Emmett. That sneaky little pervert! He was trying to see my plan! A fire raged in my eyes. I jumped off the edge of the house and landed on his back- knocking him to the ground.

"What the….Alice get off of me! Get off!" he yelled as I beat him in the head with light packages.

"NO! I told you all to not come outside and see! OR peek! You rotten little cheater!" I yelled. He managed to get me off his back, but then I just started to chase him around the house with packages.

He ran up to the door of the house and was trying to open it, but they had locked him outside. I grinned wickedly. He was mine now!

"Alice…" he said sweetly as he turned his back against the door to face me. "I wasn't trying to peek…..I just wanted to know if you needed anything…."

"Oh no- you tried, and now you will pay!" I looked at the light box in my upraised hand and he did too.

Then he turned back to the door and started to beat on it, "Let me in! For God sake's she has light boxes! LET ME IN!"

**Bella POV**

After Jazz had told us his story and calmed down, we all sat in the living room talking and laughing. That was when Emmett got the brilliant idea to go and see what the 'plan' was. When he left, the boys started making bets.

"Ten bucks says he last five minutes!" Jasper said.

"Twenty says he goes three or less!" Edward countered him.

"Deal!" Jasper said as he shook Edwards's hand. _Boys…._

When Emmett go tout the door, the started timing him. We heard Alice jump off the roof of the house and start screaming at Emmett after one minute. Next thing we knew Emmett was pounding on the door we had locked behind him. It was hard to resist not doing it so we did despite the fact it was evil!

In two minutes we heard Emmett at the door trying to get in. And then beg for mercy.

"Alice…" we heard him say sweetly. It was hard to stifle our giggles so we could hear him. "I wasn't trying to peek…..I just wanted to know if you needed anything…." We heard him try to justify himself.

"Oh no- you tried, and now you will pay!" Alice yelled back at him.

Then he turned back to the door and started to beat on it, "Let me in! For God sake's she has light boxes! LET ME IN!" he screamed just like a girl as Alice began to beat him with them and chase him around the yard.

"I win!" Edward claimed. Jasper sighed and handed him ten dollars.

**Alice POV**

When I had finished beating Emmett, they had let him back inside, and connecting the roofing lights, I attacked the windows. I measured and plugged in and wove cords in such complicated paths that it was amazing. This would be the best Christmas ever! Two hours later, after, I had tested the last lights and I was ready for my family to see the sight that was our house.

I jumped off of the roof and stepped inside the house. "Okay everyone- you may now come and see the house!" It was a good thing it was dark already. I don't think I could have handled waiting because I was about to carry them outside so they would move faster.

**Bella POV**

We finally let Emmett back in the house after being abused with packages. In the middle of bashing on him for what he said and did, Alice came in and proclaimed, "Okay everyone- you may now come and see the house!"

She looked like she was about to explode with excitement so Edward carried me while he ran out into the yard to get a good view of the house.

"Are you ready for this?" Alice yelled at us while we were waiting in the yard.

"Yes!" we all yelled back.

"Get ready…Here it goes."

The whole house lit up in one bright instant. There were net lights all over the roof that made it glow like there were stars on the roof. The porch columns had the same white lights as those on the roof wrapped around them, and there was green garland, red bows, and white lights around every window as well. It was beautiful, and so bright that for a moment it blinded my unadjusted eyes. But, a few seconds was as long as the show lasted.

I had just enough time to take in the view of the house before I heard a loud popping noise and then the whole house went dark. Alice starting cursing like a sailor. Everyone in the yard said, "What the…." at the same time that the lights went out.

Carlisle ran into the house and came back a minute later. "Well, there won't be anymore lights tonight. Alice's decorations overloaded the breaker and blew a fuse." Carlisle said.

"I what? There can't be anymore what?" Alice screamed. She was now on the verge of a mental breakdown. Not good- this meant that she had to resort to her plan B, whatever that may be.

I looked up at Edward who was smirking.

"What?" I asked him.

"Maybe Alice's hair is sticking straight up like Einstein's."

"Possibly, but what do we do now? There are no lights."

"Well, I don't know exactly." He said as he scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to the house.

It was pitch black, and, with my luck, I would have tripped over everything and broken my neck on the trip back if Edward had not carried me. He sat me down in the floor of the living room in the circle where everyone else was, everyone except Alice. He sat down beside me and his hand found mine in the dark. They had no trouble seeing, but I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. So Esme gratefully brought me a flashlight.

"Well, what do we do now that Alice's light show is over?" Emmett asked.

Suddenly, Alice came running into the room carrying something. Edward groaned. I shined my light at her and saw that she was holding sheet music and scarves. I groaned to when I saw what it was. Emmett and Jasper started to pout and Rose looked bored happy, as Alice shouted,

"Christmas Caroling!"

_Please forgive typos I am getting a little tired. I don't like the ending of this chapter but oh well it is okay. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but the power was out at my house yesterday, and then it went out again today! So frustrated! But please review and if you want a specific chapter or have funny ideas they are welcome too!_


	8. Chapter 7: Grandma Got Run Over

**AN: Well I have mid-terms this week so I may not update as much, but you will live! Don't worry. I will probably add 2 on Friday. Now….enjoy.**

**Chapter Seven: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer**

Alice threw everyone a scarf. I wrapped mine around my neck. It was freezing outside! I was glad that she had thought this through all the way.

"Um….why do we need these?" Emmett asked as she threw him a red one.

"Because…..you have to look the part for Christmas caroling!" Alice explained.

"Oh…."

"Alice, this is great and all, but where are we caroling at? This is Forks after all." Jasper said.

"He has a point……" Rosalie said.

"It is a surprise……." Alice said.

"Well that explains the songs…….But at least it isn't High School Musical Two anymore." Edward said.

"What is she singing in her head now?" I asked.

"'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer'...It is better than the last thing I have to admit." The mention of her song made Alice start dancing around in the dark while signing.

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer……"

"Shut up!" Edward pleaded with her as he realized something. I was getting confused. It was just a Christmas song? But I guess if you had been listening to it for a while it would get old.

"Well it is true!" Alice snapped back at him fro ruining her fun.

"What is true? Grandma got run over by a reindeer?" I was really confused now. What were they talking about? I was about to ask when Edward said,

"Bella it was an accident- please forgive me." he pleaded. The look of sorrow was so deep in his eyes that I said,

"You are forgiven, but I am not following. What are you talking about?" He looked at me in amazement.

"I thought you knew……" he trailed off. "How could you not. Bella…." he closed his eyes to prepare for his revelation. "I ran over Grandma."

That was when it hit me. "You what? You ran over GRANDMA? Edward we just found her today! How could you?" I was mad. I crossed my arms over my chest and turned away from him. "You are not forgiven on second thought."

"Oh My God, did Edward run over Bella's grandma?" Emmett asked in disbelief. "Dude?! How could you?"

"No you idiot…that was her cat. Not her real grandmother!" Rose said as she whapped him.

"Oh……"

"Sorry about the cat, Bella." Jasper said.

"You moron, why didn't you tell her sooner?" Alice chirped.

"I thought she knew! What did you think that bump was when we coming out of the driveway, Bella? I assumed you didn't want to talk about it because you were sad."

"Wait…. that was what that was? I thought it was just a piece of junk in the road! I didn't know it was the cat I…no WE, found! But more importantly, there is a dead cat in the middle of my drive-way! What will Charlie say? Oh. My. God." I was outraged and worried at the same time. How could he run over my cat? And what would Charlie say about the dead cat in the middle of the drive-way? How was I going to explain that?! 'Well, um… you see dad, what happened was, Edward sort of ran over Grandma.'

"Well, Alice saw it and she sent someone to clean it up." He said as he eyed Jasper who shuddered. "But, Bella please forgive me. It was an accident. Please…." He said as he leaned closer to me.

Looking into his eyes was a terrible mistake because I said, "You are." Before I knew what happened. I hated it when he did that to me! But he was so cute…..

"Okay people, time to go!" Alice said. I noticed we were the only people left sitting when we got up. Did they all have to move at vampire speed all the time?

"Oh! Wait! Alice…..do we get to change?" Edward asked beseechingly.

"NO!" she said playfully.

"UGH!" he groaned. I knew that he hates walking around in his costume, but it fit the mood for caroling, and it was cute on him.

"It won't be that bad." I tried to reassure him. I grabbed his hoof in my hand. He gave me a look as we headed for the Volvo.

We both stopped when we were about to get in the car. The front windows on the doors had antlers on them and there was a bright red ball placed at the front of the car like a nose. It looked like Edward! I laughed out loud.

"WHO DID THIS TO MY CAR!?" Edward yelled.

Alice was trying to keep from laughing, but she was failing miserably. He knew it was her instantly.

"Alice!? How could you!?"

"Oh, come on… it looks cute." She said between giggles. When Emmett, Rose, and Jasper saw the Volvo they started laughing too. Edward stood there in shock at the fact that his car now matched him.

"I don't know what Emmett is laughing about. The jeep got a makeover too….." Alice said.

"The jeep got one too!" Emmett screamed while running to his 'baby' when he heard what Alice said. "NO!" we heard him roar.

All of us ran around to see what had happened to the Jeep. On the back window there was a huge picture of Frosty the Snowman that said 'I (imagine a huge pink heart) Frosty' under it in girly pink script. I fell out laughing.

"Emmett….the…jeep….looks…so….so….GAY!" Jasper said between laughs.

"At least the Volvo doesn't look GAY! Ha!" Edward teased him back.

"Shut up…." Emmett mumbled like a two year old.

"Wait until he has to go to school in it!" Alice said excitedly. "I can see Mike Newton now!"

"Please! Alice, PLEASE- don't make me! You know he will be all over me! (just in case you were wondering I decided to make Mike Newton gay and in love with Emmett and I got this idea from Twilight Fan Girls who are AWSOME btw)" he begged.

"No- if Edward has to, you have to."

"Awww…..what did I do to you Alice?" Edward groaned.

"Trying to figure out my plans and Emmett tried to peek!" she growled.

"All of this over trying to see what the house was going to look like?" they boomed at the same time.

"Yes. You know I like to have my surprises and you two almost ruined it. So now you have to drive your cars like this everywhere you go for one week! Ha!"

I was quit amused by the whole scene. Alice was the master of revenge plots! Jasper was lucky that she loved him, but then again that had led to him being stalked by Santa. At the thought of Santa I flipped through the music copies Alice had given each of us to see if there was a certain song in there that I could torture Jasper with.

I was elated when I found the song "Santa Claus is coming to town"! That would make him squirm!

"Oh Jasper….." I said innocently.

"What Bella?"

"You better watch out….."

"Bella stop……"

"You better not cry…." Edward joined me now.

"Please stop….." he was crouching over now with his hands on his head.

"Better not pout….." Emmett and Rose sang with us.

"Guys this isn't funny!"

"I'm telling you why…..Santa Claus is coming to town!" we all sang.

I felt a little but guilty when we finished and Jasper was curled up in the fetal position on the ground. _Wow._ I thought. _It must have been really bad._

"Okay guys, mentally abuse Jazz time is over; we have to get going."

"It was his pay back for laughing at our cars." Emmett said as he hopped in the jeep.

"Yep!" Edward said as we got in the Volvo.

"Oh Alice said to put in this CD she gave me." Edward said when he started the car.

"What is it?"

He put in the CD player slot and turned it up. I couldn't believe what Alice had put on the CD. It streamed out through the speakers and the tune filled the car as the singer did his job.

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer  
walkin' home from our house Christmas Eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa.  
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog.  
And we'd begged her not to go.  
But she'd forgot her medication,  
and she staggered out the door into the snow.

When we found her Christmas mornin,'  
at the scene of the attack.  
She had hoof prints on her forehead,  
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,  
walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa.  
He's been takin' this so well.  
See him in there watchin' football,  
drinkin' beer and playin' cards with Cousin Belle.

It's not Christmas without Grandma.  
All the family dressed in black.  
And we just can't help but wonder:  
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?  
(_Send them back_)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,  
walkin' home from our house Christmas Eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table.  
And the pudding made of fig.  
And a blue and silver candle,  
that would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.  
"Better watch out for yourselves."  
They should never give a license,  
to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,  
walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.  
(_Sing it Grandpa_)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,  
walkin' home from our house, Christmas Eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe."

I was laughing by the end of the song.

"I am never going to live this down am I?" Edward asked as he eyed me.

"Nope." I said.

"Oh….wait is Alice sure this is the right place?" he asked confused. I hadn't even realized where we were because I had been so pre-occupied. I was shocked to see we were outside of Mike Newton's house. Okay, Alice really has lost it, or she just wants full revenge on Emmett.

All of us gathered outside his house in front of the porch steps. Emmett looked like he wanted to run far, far away. Rose was actually glad to see Emmett squirming. Jasper was nervous and his nervousness was making me nervous! Edward seemed annoyed. I knew he hated Mike more than I did and that was a lot.

A very eager Alice ran up and rang the door bell. I bet Esme and Carlisle were glad to have her out of the house. When Mike came to the door, we started to awkwardly sing Jingle Bells. Santa Claus is coming to town was supposed to be first, but Jasper couldn't handle it since it made him think about his stalker. Mike was apparently as amused by the boy's costumes as we had been because he hit the floor laughing when he actually looked at them. Emmett got mad and wanted to kill Mike. Jasper was shutting down again, and Edward was singing through clenched teeth. But Edward softened up when he saw Mike getting mad at the sight of me and him together.

Mike was giving Emmett googly eyes when he stopped glaring at Edward and saw him. Emmett started to squirm and had that run-away look again. I thought that Mike was cooking Emmett with his stare! We finally finished Jingle Bells, and sprinted to the cars to leave after one song.

"Oh. My. God. Mike was looking at Emmett like he was turkey at Thanksgiving!" I said while laughing.

"I know- that was priceless!"

_Sorry this chapter was long, but I just kept typing when I started and didn't stop. I hope you like it. Please review and thank you if you do._ _It was a but rushed but the next chapter should be better._


	9. Chapter 8: My House!

**AN:** Well my exams weren't as bad as I thought they would be! I don't even have to go to school today! YAY! Anyway if you have any questions or suggestions you can tell me. And the images of Alice…..-shuts up before she ruins the chapter- were funnier in my mind. Hope you like it.

**Chapter Eight: My House!**

After my weekend of staying with Alice and the rest of her family, I got to go home to the sanity of Charlie's house. The first night that I was back we ended up actually getting our Christmas tree and spent the night decorating it with store-bought ornaments as well as a few he still had form when I was a small child. It was comforting to revisit these old memories and actually bond with my dad for once.

The next morning, Edward kissed me before heading off to his house to change and get the Volvo. I flew down stairs to eat breakfast and was surprised when I came back into my room. Alice was sitting on my bed. It wasn't that this was unusual, but the look on her face was. I was worried that something was wrong.

"Everything okay Alice?" I asked her a bit hesitantly.

"Yes, but your Christmas tree is not." She said flatly. _Oh no, she did not just insult my Christmas tree!_

"What? What's wrong with it?" I asked as I placed my hands on my hips and stared at her.

"Bella. Seriously. That THING is dingy looking, and the ornaments on it don't match what so ever!"

"Alice…..come back to reality. This is C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S. My tree looks fine. It's a Christmas tree; it doesn't have to be perfectly coordinated. It has a homey feel to it. It is cute. I like it, and don't you dare try to change it. The deal was for the exterior of the house ONLY!"

"Oh! That brings me to my next point since you won't let me help you with the tree." She said and then stuck out her tongue. I did the same thing right back. If anything, she was the one being childish because she was throwing a fit about how _I_ decorated in _my_ own home!

"Well, anyway, what day this week would you like me to assist your house in giving it holiday cheer?"

"Whenever you want….." I barely finished before she ran over to me and embraced me in a tight hug.

"Okay….Alice I have to get ready for school." I said as I wiggled out of her hug.

"Thanks a million Bella."

Then she flew out of my window. I would never look at Alice the same after this again, and that was for sure. If it was this bad this year, I couldn't't imagine how they handled her _every_ year. I pushed the thought from my head about how Alice might decorate my house because it truly terrified me. I kept getting these flashes of million of lights and every square inch of Charlie's house lighting up when she plugged them in like the Cullen's house did. I was amused at what Alice might do to Charlie if he came home in the middle of her preparations though. That would be priceless! I laughed silently to myself before throwing on my clothes and headed down stairs to go to school.

All morning long I was thoroughly distracted. Edward even asked me what was wrong a couple of times. I couldn't't help but think about her plans! It intrigued me and frightened me. This pattern of not paying attention kept up until lunch. When I sat down at the table, I realized there was an empty spot. Oh no!

"Where is Alice?" I asked quickly. I got answers from all of them at the same time.

"She isn't here…" Rose said.

"Yeah, she left earlier…."Emmett piped up.

"Calm down Bella…" Jasper said.

"I don't think you want to know." Edward said. He was the only one I paid any attention to.

"Why? Oh no…." I said as it hit me. "She's at my house isn't she?" I asked in a terrified voice. _I_ was not afraid, but I was afraid for Charlie's house.

"Calm down Bella….." Jasper goaded me.

"How can I calm down when that insane little person is at my house with decorations?!" I nearly screamed at him. "Oh the things she will do to the house….." I moaned as I slammed my head down on the table Edward put his hand on my back and started to rub gently to ease me.

"It will be okay. You made her promise not to go too far right?" He whispered in my ear. Chills went down my spine and I had to remind myself to breath, but all of my tension was suddenly gone. Stupid vampire…..

"Yes, but does that mean anything to her?" I asked him.

"Not really." He said with a chuckle. "She should be done soon. Want to skip the rest of the day and go see what she did?" he asked me sweetly. "I can tell them you got sick in the office…." He assured me.

"No- Charlie might be home. I thought he said something about taking off early to go Christmas shopping today." I finally decided.

"Well, whenever you see it, don't upset her….please." Jasper begged me.

"I'll try not to. But after what she did to Emmett with those light boxes, I don't think that I stand a chance against her if I do." I laughed.

"Hey! Shut up! At least you have someone to protect you and you won't be locked out of the house!" Emmett glared at Rose, Jasper, and Edward. I laughed.

"Upset you got beat up by someone less than half your size?" I teased him.

"I did not get…" I put up my hand to stop him.

"Sure you didn't. I'll see you guys later. Bye." I said as I walked off with Edward to my next class.

In the last half of my day, I started to get anxious and wanted to leave. When the final bell rang, I was out of the door like a bullet and nearly sprinted to the Volvo. Edward was waiting for me. I hoped in quickly.

"Bella, be prepared for whatever she did okay. You know this is Alice." He said as he laced his fingers through mine. I smiled.

"It's hard to be prepared for Alice." I stated.

"I agree."

In a few minutes we turned into my drive way. I gasped. I did not know whether I should be in shock from how much stuff there was or whether I should be angry about all the stuff. I decided on an emotion somewhere in between.

Charlie's house had white lights going around the porch and green garland with small red bows on it like that around the Cullen's house. There was a small display in front of the house that consisted of three light-up deer. On the second story windows there was more garland and lights. The only difference was that there were jingle bells on the garland around the second story windows too. A huge wreath the size of a giant world map hung on the wall under the porch. It had bows and garland and every type of decoration imaginable on it. I gaped at it. It was hideous! On the walkway leading to the porch, there were light-up candy canes lining it. Excluding the wreath, the house was not that bad, but in the yard, there was a huge inflatable present box that had a penguin popping in and out of it.

"That will make sneaking in and out interesting…." Edward trailed off as he saw the bells on the garland on the second story window to my room.

"Alice!" I jumped. I was surprised when she jumped out from behind the penguin at the same time it popped up.

"Do you like it?" She said excitedly as she ran over to us.

"Um….the house looks good….but….." I said nervously.

"But what?" she said seriously as she placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes.

"You might want to change the jingle bell garland. Because it will make noise when Edward…."

"Oh…Sorry I forgot about that." In a flash she was up on the roof and I was watching form the ground in awe as she swiftly changed the garland on the second story windows to match that on the porch. "Anything else?" She asked as she jumped down and threw the garland to the side.

"I said no inflatables. It was a part of our deal."

"But Bella….."She whined and tried to use the pout on me. I turned to Edward who was looking at Alice and laughing as she stood there pouting with her arms crossed and Santa hat on. I covered my eyes so I couldn't't see her pouting because that always cracked me, and I gave into her plans. _Not this time! This is where I live!_ I thought.

"It is cute _and _it pops in and out. Plus it is a penguin…It's all that is awesome in the world of Christmas decorations." Alice said matter-of-factly.

"But it has to go." I tried to say firmly. "And so does the wreath."

"NO!" I peeked form between my fingers to see Alice in the middle of a tantrum like a two year old. She was throwing packages and boxes and screaming, "Not the wreath too!" Edward moved in front of me and I clung onto him for dear life. I did not want what happened to Emmett happen to me. So, I cowered behind Edward until Alice calmed down and collapsed in a disheveled heap on the ground dry sobbing,

"Alice…It is just decorations…." I said meekly.

"No they are not!" she yelled at me and shot to her feet. "And I will take them back because it was a part of the promise, but mark my words- this is not over." She said as she started to grab all of the unnecessary decorations. Before she left she said, "Yell Charlie sorry- I got carried away."

When Alice had sped out of my drive way and left, I stepped from behind my protector. Without the wreath and penguin pop-up, the house looked really cute and I liked it. It had a homey look to it.

"Edward…What does she mean by 'this is not over'." I asked him when I thought about her threat.

"Honestly love…" he said he looked into my eyes. His were smoldering and I once again had to remind myself to breathe. "I don't know."

That made me think about the second thing she said before she left. I looked away form Edwards eyes at the thought, and I really looked at the driveway for the first time since we had arrived. I noticed that Charlie's cruiser was parked in it's usual spot. _Dang! I missed it._

"Come on!" I said as I started to run toward the house while tugging on Edward's arm. "I want to hear what happened to Charlie!"

We walked up to the house, and I went to open the door. But, to my surprise, it was locked. I heard the lock turn from the other side. Charlie stuck his head out form behind the door and asked, "Is it safe? Is she gone?"

"Yes- she says she was sorry." Instant relief played across his face, and he opened the door enough for both of us to step in.

_Okay, I don't think this chapter is that funny or anything, but I had to get the chapter of Alice decorating Bella's house over with. So review. And thank you to those who do. And I will put what happened to Charlie in the next chapter. _


	10. Chapter 9: Charlie

**AN:** I Forgot to post this chapter until I was at like chapter 12 so I am sorry. I know I am a ditz. But here is what happened to Charlie.

**Chapter 8 ½ **

We stepped inside the door and Charlie looked out from behind it like he was expecting to see a demon flying at him. He was nervous and a little emotionally scared I think, from Alice's outburst. He shakily went to sit in the living room after he locked the door behind us. We followed. He sat down in his usual chair while Edward and I sat on the couch and waited for him to begin.

**Charlie POV**

I sat down and started thinking of the easiest and less traumatic way to start telling my story. I decided to start with me coming home.

"Well, I came in early from shopping and found Alice's car parked in our drive. So I got out and said hello. She said it back to me and I asked her what she was doing and if something was wrong. She told me everything was fine and that she was decorating the outside of our house because Bella had made a deal with her too. And, frankly honey I don't want to know what made you agree to that." I took a deep breath before trying to continue. It was just so horrible….

"Everything was fine for a while; I went in and put up the things I had bought and watched some of a game on TV. Then I went outside….."

**Edward POV**

Charlie started to shudder and his thought s told me everything before he continued. I was having a hard time stifling my rising giggles and Bella eyes me suspiciously when I started to shake. Then he continued.

"I went to see if she needed anything. I stepped outside on the porch and she was setting something out in the yard. So I walked out to see what she was doing I asked her and then she turned around…..and…..and…." Charlie was shuddering and near hysteria was laced all throughout his voice. His thoughts confirmed my suspicions…..

"She starting yelling at me something about peeking and ruining the surprise. I told her I was just trying to see if she needed anything…and…." Then something happened that I never would have guessed- Charlie Swan started to sob.

**Bella POV**

I couldn't believe my dad was crying- sobbing in fact. I let go of Edward's hand and went to my dads chair and knelt on the floor to try and comfort him. Finally, he continued between sobs.

"She said…..something about it being a clever excuse…..then…then……she started to chase me- around my own yard!...With boxes and packages. Most of the time I couldn't even catch what she was screaming. I was too busy trying to make it back to the house. She almost got me, but I managed to get inside and lock the doors before she got in here too." He let out a huge sigh of relief as he finished.

Wow. Alice really was psychotic.


	11. Chapter 10: Christmas Shopping

**IMPORTANT:** **AN: **I am taking out the whole 'trying to keep this story in real time' thing. Easier said, it starts on December first and then it just gets nearer and nearer to Christmas as the chapters are added. This story is just basically now a random fan fiction about the things they do around Christmas. This was based on actual events that had me laughing my butt off. Thank you to lanna-misssunshine for letting me use her idea and to my friend Anne who helped inspire this chapter along with my art class! You guys rock! Now read!

**Chapter Nine: Christmas Shopping**

My feet felt dead. I was drained. I saw a bench and dragged Edward over to it. I sat down and let out a huge sigh. We still had time before we had to meet back up with everyone else. So we could afford to sit for a few minutes and let feeling return to my feet.

In truth, I had not wanted to come shopping today, but Alice had insisted. After two whole pay checks from Newton's, a cookie, and three hours, I had finally collapsed. Well, not completely, but I was getting tired and needed to rest my feet. Edward sat beside me in a swamp of bags. I smiled at him. He hadn't wanted to come much more than I did. It was refreshing to just sit and hold hands. But, it didn't last long…..

While we were sitting there, I suddenly heard a buzzing noise.

"Please don't answer that." I said. I knew it would be Alice and that she wanted to drag me into some other shop. I had finally managed to sneak away form her with Edward, and there was no way I was going back right now. He sighed and pulled out the phone that was still buzzing.

"I should……"

"No you shouldn't't!" I said quickly.

"Something might be wrong."

"It's a trap!"

Disregarding me, he flipped open the phone. "What Alice...Yes…..No……..Fifteen minutes...okay." He flipped the phone shut. I was a bit confused by his side of the conversation and he must have seen it because he started to explain.

"Alice wants us to meet her by the entrance in about fifteen minutes."

I groaned. It would take us about ten to get there through the crowded mall so I only had five to rest. Due to the fact that my legs felt like they were going to fall off, I really did not feel like moving at this point. Edward chuckled at me, and I glared at him.

The five minutes passed way too quickly. Edward and I were moving toward the entrance, and we were greeted by a very chipper Alice upon arrival.

"Okay, Alice, where's the fire?" I asked as she bounced up and down. I sat all of our bags down at my sides.

"In there!" She said pointing her finger toward the store I hadn't even realized we were standing in front of.

"Um…Alice…." I said as I read the store name. "Aren't we all a little old to go in Toys 'r' Us?"

"Do NOT insult the most awesome store to ever exist!" Jasper said as he pointed his finger in my face. I stepped back toward Edward and he put his hand around my waist.

"It's okay Jazz, she didn't mean it." Alice soothed him.

"Sorry…" Jasper started, "I just really like this place."

"No problem." I forgave him.

Rosalie looked at Emmett who was acting like an excited two-year old who had just seen Santa in an I-can't-believe-I-am-with-you way. Alice was smiling, and Jasper was acting like Emmett. Edward was faintly smiling too. I just looked around a bit puzzled by all of this until Jasper's happiness hit me like I ran into a brick wall. Despite his emotions, I could not believe I was about to go in Toys 'r' Us with five vampires.

**Jasper POV**

I was so freaking excited it was unbelievable. I was surprised that no one else was feeling it too, but then I saw Bella's expression change. I couldn't't help it though. After Alice had drug me around the mall for hours into various uninteresting stores, I finally got to go in the place I came here to go in. Alice squeezed my hand and we started into the store.

**Bella POV**

I was surprised to see Edward actually getting excited as we went into the store. Maybe it had just taken longer for the excitement that was overpowering me to hit him. He let go of me and ran with Jasper and Emmett to the first shelf they saw. Rose, Alice, and I followed them. In their apparent excitement, they hadn't paid any attention to what was on the first aisle. Barbies.

When realization hit them, I thought Emmett was going to run away and scream in fear.

"NO!" he boomed.

"Calm down Emmett they are just dolls." Rose said.

"What exactly is wrong with him?" I asked Edward quietly.

"He is afraid of Barbies." He laughed uncontrollably.

"You are kidding!" I said. Edward shook his head no back in forth since he was incapable of speech. I burst out laughing at the fact he was afraid of Barbies. Big, strong Emmett was afraid of dolls! This was priceless! Plus, he was making quit a scene.

"They are not just dolls! They are evil mindless….Satanist!" he said as he cowered from the Barbie.

"Emmett!" Alice said as she picked up the Barbie. "She is just the purple Barbie Princess."

"They are kind of creepy." Jasper jumped in. "They are always smiling and they stare at you!" he shuddered.

"O.M.C.! **(Oh my Carlisle.) **They are just dolls! I will show you." Rosalie started to open the Barbie box.

"No!" Emmett lunged at her and grabbed the box before she could open it. "Don't open the box that holds Satan's bride!"

I was practically rolling on the floor in laughter with Edward at this point. I couldn't't believe Emmett. This was so much funnier than the Mike thing!

"Look Emmett, I hate Barbies with a passion, but they are just dolls!" Rose snapped at him and pried the box from his hands. Alice grabbed the box from her.

"Alice…." Emmett started. He looked nervously over at Jasper who was laughing with Edward and me despite the fact that they creeped him out. He knew he had no help now. Rose and Alice had him cornered. "Stay away from me midget!" he snapped at Alice when she stepped closer to him with the doll.

Alice's jaw dropped, and she froze with an –oh-no-he-just-didn't look on her face. We were all stunned and stopped laughing. "Oh…crap….Alice….I am so sorry….I don't know what came over me." he was trying to back pedal.

Alice was unconvinced and flung the Barbie box back to throw it at Emmett. It would have hit him square in the chest, but when she drew back the box above her head, it was partially open and the Barbie went flying out of the box due to the quick motion. It landed in Jasper's lap. He looked down to see the purple Barbie princess smiling back up at him evilly. He shot up like the Barbie was on fire and started to run away screaming, "Ew! It touched me. The Emo Barbie touched me!"

**Jasper POV**

Suddenly, the purple Barbie princess landed in my lap. I felt my eyes bulge out of my head when I looked down in my lap and saw a Barbie with long brown hair smiling back up at me. The smile on her plastic features scared the Be-Jesus out of me! It looked possessed! Now I saw what Emmett meant.

I shot up and ran far away from the bride of Satan (as Emmett put it.).

**Bella POV**

After Emmett had been properly slapped by Alice and Rose and the Barbie princess was safely back in her box, we went on a ten minute search around the store to try and find Jasper. It was a good thing Emmett knew where to go or else it would have taken us forever. We found him in the section of Toys 'R' Us that held the fake light-sabers and plastic swords.

"Jasper!" Emmett screamed as he saw the swords and ran up to grab one. "I so challenge you to a rematch!"

"You're on!" Jasper replied.

"Wait. Re-match? They did this before?" I asked Edward.

"Yeah- they destroyed this whole section of the store in the process too. I am surprised we haven't been chased out of here yet because of it. We have the tape at home."

"I so want to see that when we get home!"

**Security Guard Person**

I hated having to work the afternoon shift at Christmas time. We always got so dang busy! I scanned numerous rows to make sure no kids were pilfering and that no parents were either. So far, it had been a good day, and I intended to keep it that way.

No sooner had I thought that that I saw them in the fake swords area. NO! Not those two! Again! Don't the words 'banned for a life time' mean anything to these two!

**Bella POV**

Alice, Rose, Edward and I were enjoying the show Emmett and Jasper were putting on with their fake little swords. It was quite amusing to watch them. Even though, they had knocked over a whole bin of the light-sabers, and they were close to knocking over a shelf as it was now.

"Go Emmett!" Rose cheered Emmett on.

"Go Jazz!" Alice backed her husband up.

Edward and I were laughing at them. It was so funny to watch them lunge and circle each other while trying to be careful and graceful. Emmett lunged at Jasper in a Ninja Turtle imitation move; instead of hitting his mark, he landed in a pile of huge bouncy balls. That was when I started to wonder what Mike would be doing if he were here to see Emmett now which made me laugh harder.

"Hey!" a voice screamed form the end of the aisle. Our laughter was cut short, and all of us turned to look. Jasper and Emmett even stopped fighting in mid swing. When we turned, we saw a very out of shape security guard running toward us.

"Time to leave." Edward said as he picked up our bags that we had set on the floor.

"We'll finish this at home!" Jasper and Emmett both yelled at each other as they threw down their swords. In their hast, they ended up knocking over the shelf that they almost had earlier. Hundreds of toys crashed to the ground as the shelf collided with the floor and bouncy balls Emmett had freed. Thankfully, no shoppers were under it, but several stunned people turned to look at their destruction

I was giggling as we ran out of the store. The whole time the guard was swearing and yelling stop behind us. As we ran out, Alive threw some money to one of the clerks and said, "That is for aisle ten!" as she skidded to a stop just long enough to hand him the money before beginning to run again. It was hard to run since my legs were already tired and I was laughing, but I sprinted with Edward the whole way out into the middle of the mall.

Finally, we stopped running, and I found a nice bench t sit on and catch my breath with Edward. As soon as we all looked at each other we broke out in hysterical laughter. Well, all of us except Jasper and Emmett who were arguing about who won. Suddenly, I didn't regret coming on this shopping trip anymore. I turned to Edward and said,

"Do you think you could get that security tape to add to the collection?"

_Thanks again to all of those that helped me with ideas and let me borrow theirs. So thanks to lanna-misssunshine and Anne, Amelia, Rondalyn, and Cody (who got the Barbie thrown at him.) I really appreciate it. Now REVIEW! Some of it was true and I thought it was too funny to change. _


	12. Chapter 11: The Gingerbread Man!

**AN: This chapter was funnier when I first thought of it, but I am starting to get writer's block! AAHH! It is frustrating! I don't like this chapter, but I wanted to post one for you guys and the next one should be better but I need you guys to give me some suggestions as to what type of game the characters should play next chapter. I am DESPERATE! Just tell me something and include funny stuff they could do with the game. Also, I need suggestions on how a drunk Bella would act? Review and tell me!**

**Chapter Ten: The Gingerbread Man!**

I was sitting in Edwards lap in the living at the Cullen house when Alice came in the room. Edward and I were mindlessly watching TV. I looked at Alice as she sat down on the couch across from us. She had an excited look about her so I was guessing that she had had another vision of something 'fun' we were going to do. Although the caroling thing was funny……I smiled at the memory of Mike looking at Emmett like he was a roast turkey. Then I sighed out of boredom.

"Alice, I hope whatever you saw was fun because I am bored." I said as she smiled even wider.

"I was wondering when you would say that!"

"Bella," Edward began. "I hope you are in the mood to cook. Well, bake actually."

"Why?" I was confused. "None of you eat human food."

"No…..but we can still make a gingerbread house for you!" Alice said excitedly.

"Um…..Alice….I don't think that is such a good idea." I said nervously.

"Why?" she looked confused at my response.

"Because all of the ones that I made with my mom in the past were ugly." I said.

"That doesn't mean this one will be. You have me helping you!"

Alice ran over, grabbed me off of Edward's lap, and ran me to the kitchen. She sat me down and Edward was right behind me. Alice grabbed all of the ingredients for the house out of a grocery store bag. I was surprised to see that she had gotten all of the right supplies and figured that she had looked them up, which didn't really surprise me.

**(I'm not sure about how exactly you make these things so bear with me…..)**

She grabbed the mixing bowls and all of the other utensils out of a drawer. I took some of the ingredients out and began to mix them in a bowl. Apparently I was not moving fast enough for Alice so she took over.

After Alice had commandeered my mixing spoon, I sat at the bar and watched her whip up the ingredients without a blender. Stupid vampire speed. The only thing I really helped with was when Alice needed me to hand her something and when she needed me to read off the next step in the process to her. I was quit surprised with Alice. For someone who did not eat human food and for someone who did not even cook when she was a human, she did surprisingly well.

Soon enough the oven dinged and we took out the pieces of the gingerbread house. The only thing left to do was assemble it. Alice was too impatient to wait for the sides to cool, and I couldn't touch them since they were too hot. So instead of waiting, Alice put the pieces up by herself and had the whole house up in a matter of ten minutes after repeated swears and curses. That was when I started to really help in this whole project.

We spread white icing over the roof of the house and started to decorate the whole thing. The icing also served as paste that allowed us to keep the gum drops and other garnishments in place. It looked so cute when we were done. The house was the pain brown color and it smelt like cinnamon. The roof was caked with white icing and there were tiny gum drops along the edges of the roof. There were little gingerbread men with gum drop buttons outside of the house. As we stood there, I got an idea. I wiped some of the white icing off of the edge of the bowl and put it on the end of Edward's nose. He smiled at me with a devilish grin.

"Edward…." I began backing away.

He started to chase me around the kitchen with the bowl of white icing. Alice was yelling at us the whole time to stay away from 'her beautiful baby' because it was 'sensitive'. Finally, he caught me. The next thing I knew, I had white icing on my cheeks like war paint.

"Hey!" Alice said when she saw me. "That looks awesome. Do it to me Edward." She began to bounce up and down. Who would have thought Alice would want someone to put icing on her face?

"Um…okay." He said hesitantly. He dipped his finger into the icing and put two streaks on Alice's cheeks to match mine. I started laughing at the way Alice looked with paint on her face like a Native American and a Santa hat on too. I reached up on my tip toes and put some streaks on Edward's cheeks to match Alice's and mine.

Emmett came into the room at the exact moment we started laughing at the way we looked. He shook his head at us and turned to walk out of the room, but he stopped in mid-turn. I wondered what was wrong, but I saw what he was eyeing when he turned around. He was looking at our house sitting on the island.

In one swift motion, Emmett came toward the house and stood right next to it. He picked up one of the gingerbread men and began to prance it around on the tray saying, "I am the gingerbread man!" He practically played out the whole scene from the movie Shrek while he had the thing in his hands. It was rather funny though. It made me think of him playing with dolls.

When he was done he threw the man back onto the plate with more force than intended and it knocked into a wall of the house. It was as if everything moved in slow motion as I watched the wall fall over into the house and send all of our work toppling to the floor. Alice started screaming and sobbing "NO! Not my baby! NO!"

From the way she was acting you would have thought it was a real child. Edward and I stood there in stunned silence. At first, I wasn't mad, but as I stood there looking at what he had done, I got angrier by the second. Edward apparently did too because when we turned to face the guilty looking Emmett he started backing away form us as we walked toward him. As Alice joined us, he said "Oh Crap…" and bolted form the room. Edward, who was carrying me, and Alice hot on his heels.

_Sorry for any typos but I am tired and I didn't want to re-read this chapter because it sucks. I am sorry but I needed a reason to post again to ask you the question in my authors note. Send me an idea for a little game and what not. Review please! _


	13. Chapter 12: Eggnog! And Games!

**AN: This is the first part of their pre-Christmas Party. I give a huge thank you to ****WHENdidURheartGOmissing for helping out. This is your mini-Christmas present from me so enjoy! And I will post the other parts when I am done. And forgive typos this is really long! I just broke it down. I will probably post the other part tomorrow when I am done with it. Hope you had a Merry Christmas! Enjoy!**

**Chapter Eleven: Eggnog! and Games!**

Once again, I was back at the Cullen's before Christmas to spend the night. I didn't mind not being at home because I was with Edward, and Charlie was busy at work anyway. I really liked being here too. Alice was spunky and she helped me get into the Christmas spirit.

"Bella!" she yelled at me as Edward carried me through the door. I rolled my eyes figuring that she would want to take me shopping. But, after the whole toy store incident, it might be kind of funny.

"Don't even think about it Alice." Edward said seriously. Alice just smiled at him sweetly and said, "Oh Edward shut up. I had a vision and she will be fine." He growled.

"Now, Bella….." she said turning to me as Edward sat me down. "Are you thirsty?"

I was a bit taken back by her question, but I was so I said, "Yeah. What do you have to drink?"

She thrust the glass of eggnog that I hadn't even realized was in her hand at me. "Oh! Alice! I love eggnog!" I gave her small thanks.

"Bella, you might not want to drink that." Edward said as I took the glass form Alice. Gosh….so overprotective.

"Chill out Edward." Alice snapped at him.

"Yeah Edward it's just eggnog." I said as I downed the whole thing defiantly before him. It was really good. It burned a little though. But, it was sooooooo good that I just ignored it. When I looked at Alice, she was smiling triumphantly. Edward was shooting her death rays with his eyes. "Do you have anymore Alice?" I asked.

"Bella," Edward cut in. "I don't think you should drink anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because tha-"

Alice jumped in between us and cut him off. "Here you go Bella." She said as she refilled my glass. I drank this one a little slower, taking time to enjoy the taste of the drink. Edward looked at Alice like he was going to kill her again. She rolled her eyes in response.

Rose came into the room with Emmett and Jasper. Rose had that I-told-you-so look on her face as Edward glared at them. Emmett and Jasper smirked. I was a little confused, but I was more dumbfounded by this feeling washing over me. I felt alive. I wanted to laugh so badly. What was wrong with me? Did they spike my eggnog? No, they wouldn't do that to me…..I pushed the thought away as it made me laugh.

**Emmett POV**

I walked into the room with Rose and Jasper to be greeted by Edward glaring at us. So what if Alice had spiked Bella's eggnog. It was no big deal. Her dad would never know and Alice had a vision that she would be perfectly fine. I smirked when Edward threw me another dirty look.

Bella got a confused look on her face and then fe3ll to the ground in a hysterical fit of giggles. Jasper felt her amusement and started to infect the rest of us with it. Soon we were all laughing and rolling around on the floor because of absolutely nothing. This was going to be a fun night.

**Bella POV (five glasses of the mysterious eggnog later…….)**

I couldn't resist it anymore. I had been looking at it for the past two hours and I wanted it now! I reached over and stole Alice's Santa hat off of her head. I put it on top of mine and I heard Alice gasp. Then I saw her smile as she pulled an extra one out of nowhere. Where had that been hiding?

"Bella, do you want to play a game?" Emmett asked me.

"Suuuurrreee….." I drawled out.

"Yay!" Alice squealed. Edward gave her the death glare again. Jasper looked excited and Emmett smirked gain. All of their reactions were so funny that I began to laugh uncontrollably again.

Then Emmett ran over to their X-box 360 and yelled at me to come over there. I plopped down on the floor next to him. Edward came and sat at my side. Jasper and Emmett were smiling at each other.

"What are we playing?" I asked.

"Need For Speed!" Emmett and Jasper bellowed.

"Huh?" I said confused. Maybe the eggnog was getting to me.

"It's a racing game Bella." Edward informed me.

My mouth formed an O. They spent time showing me how to use the controls and them they let me get to the good stuff- putting together my car! I choose the Aston Martin DB9 as my car and made it solid black. It looked awesome! Then, they choose the track we would race on. Of course, they choose to drift.

The race started and I was doing pretty darn well. I was in first place! I even had Emmett and Jasper screaming, "No!"

"Stop!"

"Don't pass me!"

"I can't be beat by a girl!"

That was until we got to the drifting part. I hit the buttons like they told me too, but every time I would slam into the wall that was coming at my car extremely fast.

"Stupid wall! Get out of my way! Edward, can you beat up the wall, it scratched my car and slowed me down and made me lose!" I said as I dropped the controller and pouted.

Emmett and Jasper were rolling on the floor in laughter. That was making me mad, but Alice came prancing into the room just as I was about to say something.

"Time for board games!" she shouted.

**Alice POV**

The commotion coming form down stairs let me know that Bella was winning for a while. How she managed to beat the boys on their own game when she was drunk was beyond me, but she was- for a while. I finally found what I was looking for and ran down stairs. The game wasn't that Christmas oriented, but it was fun.

I found Bella pouting, Edward scowling, Emmett and Jasper laughing uncontrollably, and Rose smirking. I rolled my eyes and said, "Time for a board game!"

Emmett and Jasper shut up and sat up immediately and Rose slid off of the couch and down to the floor gracefully. Since there were only four sets, we had to play teams. I decided that instead of playing as couples, we would draw names out of a hat. So I had written every bodies name on a slip of paper and put it in one of Emmett's before coming down stairs. I held it out in front of me and everybody looked at me questioningly- everyone except for Bella who was swatting at the end of her Santa hat that was dangling in front of her face like a cat swatting at a ball of yarn. I had to stifle my giggles when Edward glared at me.

I sighed remembering that I had to explain things to my non-physic brothers and sister. "I decided that it would be more fun to have us draw names for teams out of a hat instead of pairing up in couples. Come on, Jasper, you start." He gave a low growl before drawing.

"Rose…" he read. He moved over in the circle to sit by her.

"Emmett..." I goaded. He picked in and drew out a slip of paper.

"Bella….." He read.

**Emmett POV **

I was upset that I had to be on the team with the drunken girl. She was swatting the ball at the end of the Santa hat like she was a kitten. How could she play Sorry? Then, I realized that Alice and Edward were on a team together. Oh hell no!

"Wait…" I said. "Why does the mind reader and the physic get to be on the same team? That is so unfair!"

"He has a good point…." Rose backed me up. I grinned like an idiot.

**Jasper POV**

I couldn't believe Emmett had actually thought about the way the pairings were and not me, but he was right.

"He's right Alice." I said.

"Ugh! Fine, we'll switch. Rose you be on Edward's team. Emmett you are on mine and Jasper you be on Bella's." Alice said in a voice so stern we all agreed instantly.

I gulped. Why did I have to play with her? Yeah drunken Bella was hilarious, but I didn't know how well she would do. Just her feelings were making me tipsy. But, then again, I could use this to my advantage and make her trust my every move and not interfere which would basically make it to where I was on a team by myself. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I smiled at the thought which got me a dirty look form Edward and went to sit by Bella.


	14. Chapter 13: Sorry Dares

**AN: Go read chapter 8 ½ if you haven't I added it the other day. It tells what Alice did to Charlie. And, I would just like to say that you should go read my friends Anne's (****annatari.the.writer) story for Mirror Mask and for Supernatural! They are awesome like her. Sorry if the first bit doesn't flow that well but I didn't want to take forever on explaining the game and them playing it so enjoy. **

**Chapter 12: Sorry Dares**

**Jasper POV**

Alice shuffled the cards and we were about to start the game. I thought about having Bella as a team mate while I watched Alice perfectly shuffle. She would be valuable because Edward couldn't read her thoughts if we drew a sorry card, and I could let her decide who to take out. Plus, Alice had already told us that she couldn't see who was going to win since the cards were random. This was going to be awesome!

**Bella POV**

We started the game after Alice shuffled the cards at a blinding speed. Edward's team went first, and they didn't get out of start. Neither did Alice's team. That made Emmett scowl and I was laughing at him when Jasper drew our card.

"Yes!" Jasper said beside me. I looked down at the card to see that we had drawn a two.

"Woo- Hoooo!" I yelled and threw my hands into the air waving them back and forth. "Move it Jazzy!"

**Alice POV**

We definitely had to get Bella drunk more often. She was hilarious. Jasper moved their piece, and then we kept going around the board in the same fashion. On our second round, we got out. Emmett was bouncing like I was with the card in my hand. That was when I got my ideal.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" I said in the middle of all of the chatter. "We should make some wagers on this. How about whoever wins has the other teams that lose at their mercy? Whatever they say to do, they have to do."

Emmett smiled, and Edward looked terrified. Rosalie smirked and Jasper looked like he was in deep thought. Bella got an evil grin on her face. Apparently, she was also a conniving drunk.

"Yes!" Everyone said at once; well, everyone except Edward who groaned yes in defeat.

I smiled at my evil genius and we continued the game.

**A little while later……**

"Bella, don't do it." Emmett pleaded with her. Bella just smiled goofily at him and hiccupped. In her hand was a sorry card. She could know knock anyone who had a piece out of start on the board back to start and the one she was eying was right at the entrance to home. My eyes were huge watching her, but I didn't think that she would do it. I hated not being able to foresee her decisions about this because she was in limbo! She threw the card down in the stack and picked up her game piece. Jasper smirked.

Just as I thought she was about to hit our piece, she swung it around and knocked Edward and Rosalie's pawn back to start. Whew!

"Bella!" Edward said shocked at her behavior. "What did I do?"

"Nothing." She giggled. "Your pawn was just too sexy to stay on the board."

All of us burst out laughing at that. Yeah right!

**Bella POV**

"Yes!" I shouted in victory. I jumped up and nearly fell but I caught myself on Jasper who had jumped up too and we started to victory dance around the room. I felt amazing! I had just beat four vampires at a game of Sorry! with Jazz. Emmett rolled over onto the floor groaning loudly. Alice was staring at our card in shock, Rose looked pissed, and Edward gulped. Ha! Now I had him at my mercy!

"Hey Jazz….." I said as I stopped dancing because it was making the room spin really fast. "You can have Rose and Emmett, and I'll take Alice and Edward."

"Deal!" he said. "I know what I am going to do for starters…"

**Jasper POV**

Bella and I had split up the two groups and I got Emmett and Rose. I was glad that I didn't have Alice because her pout would crack me and there was no way I could do anything to her anyway. She would refuse to touch me ever again……

"I know what I am going to do for starters……Emmett, since you got me banned form another Toys 'R' Us….."

"You fought me so technically you got yourself banned!" he cut me off.

"You started it, so you have to choose one song from High Scholl Musical Two to sing and dance to…….At school when we get back…..in the middle of the cafeteria!" I said.

"But…..But…..Jasper…..that is just cruel!" Emmett said wide eyed.

"I know, and you have to be holding a Barbie as your dance partner while you dance on top of the table!"

"Noooooo!" Emmett screamed. "You know I am terrified of Barbies!"

"Jasper…..come one…that is a bit harsh." Rosalie pleaded with me.

Okay, okay, it was very harsh, and I suspected that Rose only wanted his punishment to be lighter since she would also have to endure the humiliation from it at school.

"Fine, no Barbie, but the rest stands as soon as break is over."

"Thank you….." Emmett let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Now….Rose…..instead of the Barbie, since you didn't want him to have it….you are going to be his dance partner!"

Rosalie hated High School Musical with every cell in her body and I couldn't blame her. The songs sucked. So I thought that making her sing and dance to it with her 'boyfriend' at school should be rather amusing. She just shot me death rays before lashing out at me.

"Jasper! You know I detest that movie! No way! Let Emmett be the table dancer not me!"

"Well it is either that, or…. you pawn your BMW in for a used car……" I said with an innocent smile.

"What the hell? No! NO! NO! UGH...Fine I will dance and sing the damn song with Emmett."

**Bella POV**

Alice was giving me the pout which looked weird on her two faces. Edward was smiling at me and trying to dazzle me, but it didn't work.

"Alice…..You must let me give you a makeover!" I said happily. Then I started to giggle at the thought of all the payback I was going to get on Alice. "And you have to stay the way I put you for two days!"

"Bella…..PLEASE…choose something else." Alice whined. I closed my eyes so I couldn't see her pout.

"No! You made these rules so stick to them missy! Or I will choose something worse." I snapped back at her. Her eyes got wide as she saw what I might make her do to her wardrobe. Finally she succumbed.

"Oh fine!" she huffed.

"Edie….." I began in a sweet voice that was ever so slightly slurred as I turned to him.

"Yes Bella….." He said as he shot Alice death rays.

"You have to do anything I tell you to do for the rest of the night and tomorrow. In other words I will run your life for the next thirty six hours." I smiled sweetly at him.

"But….."

"No, no, no…" I said as I waved my finger in his face. My Santa hat flopped in front of my face just as I was about to start and I had to swat at it to get it back. "You know the rules." I went to take a step towards him, but just as I did, I tripped over my own feet.

Even Edward wasn't fast enough to keep me from falling. So, I hit the carpet hard. It didn't hurt that much. When, I rolled over laughing at myself. Everyone looked at me like I was psychotic before Jasper started sending out waves of hilarity and had everyone on the floor with me.

After our giggle fit, I grabbed Alice by the arm and drug her upstairs.

**Alice POV**

I was scared to death **(no pun intended)** about what Bella would do to me. I couldn't see what she had planned because she kept changing her mind and because she didn't really even know what she did want to do. I cringed as she put me in the chair in front of the mirror in my bathroom where she usually sat.

She pulled out my makeup and sat it on the counter in front of me. My mind was racing at what she was going to do to me as she pulled out a curling iron and a whole package of bobby pins. I got stiffer, if possible, when she told me,

"Just sit still….."

**Edward POV **

The least I could say was that I wasn't happy about being at Bella's mercy for the next thirty six hours. She was drunk thanks to Alice and the rest of my wonderful family, and there was no telling what she would make me do. My thoughts were cut short when I heard screaming coming from upstairs in Alice's bathroom. Then I heard Alice banging on the door to be let out.

"Help! Help! You asses help me!" she screamed and whimpered at the same time.

Her thoughts were more amusing. _NO! Bella PLEASE NO! Put down the curler! No! That is nail polish not lipstick! Edward you ass! I know you can hear me; I can see you cracking up down there! Come get your deranged fiancée away from me! Edward….._

I blocked the rest of her thoughts that were now a string of profanities. We heard more screaming coming from upstairs and then Bella giggling hysterically.

**Emmett POV**

Rose and I were quietly fuming to each other and plotting various ways that we could kill the now smirking Jasper when Alice started screaming. Bella must have been getting really sweet revenge for all of those times that she had put her through this. Rose and I started laughing when she stopped screaming for about ten seconds. Then we heard her scream again and Bella laughing followed by a strange gurgling noise and splashes.

**Jasper POV**

I wasn't surprised that Bella would make Alice's makeover as horrible as possible for her. It was payback after all. But, I really wished that they would get it over with already because Bella's feelings of amusement were not mixing well with Alice's of frustration and terror. Plus, I wanted to see what Bella did to my wife, and I hoped that it wouldn't be too long term and not wash off.

**Rose POV**

If I were Bella, I would have done the exact same thing as she was doing now- torturing Alice with her own tools. I really wanted to see this. I heard more muffled pleas for help and almost rushed up to Alice's aid.

"Someone help me! PLEASE unlock the door form the outside!" Alice begged.

Then I heard her clawing at the door. She would have ripped it off of its hinges, but Esme wouldn't have been happy with her if she did. So she went through with her own conditions that she probably regretted right about now.

"Alice, shut up and get back in the chair!" I heard Bella yell at her.

"As soon as you put the mascara down." Alice said in a terrified voice.

I heard a small clicking sound that I thought was the mascara hitting the tile on the bathroom floor. It was quite for about ten minutes except for the occasional whimper form Alice that we were all listening for.

After about twenty minutes of waiting to see what Bella did to Alice, we heard the door to the bathroom open.

_I will post the next chapter soon. Give me some ideas on what Bella should make Edward do. And to what happens to Alice. Hope you liked it. Review!_


	15. Chapter 14: Push It

**AN: **Thank you for all of the ideas and I hope that you like this chapter. I know that it is after Christmas now, but I just want to finish this story since I started writing it before Christmas. So bear with me here. And My-Bella I would have used your idea, but I am not good at writing like that so don't kill me.

And thank you to **pirate-princess1** for your idea, to **Death to Jacob** for the ideas and for catching my mistake, and to **FeatherDeath** for yours. I loved them!

This chapter is a lot funnier if you find the videos on youtube, and listen to them as they sing them. Now…the chapter! 

**Chapter 13: Push It**

**Edward POV**

Alice came down stairs reluctantly and I could see why. Alice was an emo elf!

Her black leggings were used as tights and she had on a black tank top with a half black jacket with red stitches over it. Her elf hat looked like it had been dyed black as well. All of us fell out on the floor rolling in laughter. Her make-up really topped it all off though. She had on so much blush that she looked like those wooden nut cracker dolls that had red circles on their cheeks. Her lipstick was all smeared and going in different directions off of her lips- either Alice had resisted or it was due to Bella's drunkenness.

Her hair was the best though. In an attempt to make Alice's hair look like Cindy-Lu Who's from the movie _The Grinch, _Alice had three pony tails in her hair- one that went straight up and two sticking straight out on the side of her head that were curled up at the ends. Since, her hair was so short and fine, Bella had used a massive amount of hair spray that I could smell and a ton of bobby pins to hold the stray hairs in place. The hat covered her top pony tail that stuck straight up, but I could see Alice in her own mind when she had looked in the mirror before Bella put the hat on her head because she was sulking about it.

"_Oh you just wait Edward!"_ she thought viciously, and I stopped laughing. _"I will help Bella torture you." _

"Alice…" I started to beg, but as soon as I did she turned to Bella and put on an innocent smile and forgot about what Bella had done to her for a moment.

"Oh Bella, how would like karaoke?"

"Oh Yay!" she squealed.

I groaned knowing that I was in trouble.

**Bella POV**

Under normal circumstances, I would not have been up for karaoke, but I was not the one who was going to have to perform. Edward was! I was going to make him suffer for the next thirty five hours!

Alice got out the machine and hooked it up to the TV while we all waited anxiously in the living room. When she finally got it setup she asked, "Who's first?"

"Emmett and Rose are." Jasper said quickly. "They need to have a recital before their big performance."

They glared at him. I laughed and they turned to glare at me too which made Edward growl. They got up and went over to the machine.

"Well, we already know what we are doing and the routine so that will NOT be preformed before we have to at school." Rose said.

"So we are going to sing song Christmas songs!" Emmett yelled excitedly. Rose rolled her eyes and smacked the heel of her hand into her forehead when she saw Emmett's goofy grin.

Emmett walked over and pressed play on the stereo. Instantly, the Santa Song by Adam Sandler started to pour through the speakers. I rolled over laughing hysterically as Emmett started to sing in a high pitched voice.

"So many presents,  
So little time,  
Santa wont be coming around my house this year,  
Cause I tried to drown my sister and I pierced my ear,  
Oh mama made it perfectly clear,  
Santa don't like bad boys...especially Jewish ones." Emmett began.

"Gnip-gnop and Lego blocks are all that I desire,  
So why did I have to set the pizza guys hair on fire,  
I told him I was sorry,  
I'm a liar,  
So no toys for me...I don't deserve them." Rose sang. Wow. She could really sing.

"I couldn't wait for a big wheel as the holiday neared,  
But then I told my grandma that she had a beard.

Dear Santa,  
I know what my problem is, why I cant be good, its a fear of intimacy.  
You see my whole life whenever I've met someone really great like you and  
I keep feeling like I'm getting close to them, something inside me makes  
Me want to screw it up. So in a weird way the reason I'm so bad is because  
I love you Santa." Emmett sang sadly. Ha! Emmett having a fear on intimacy! That made me giggle harder until I was turning purple.

"Rock-em sock-em robots is what I was hoping for,  
But then I made a death threat to vice president gore,  
Oh Santa wont be knocking on my door…" Rose left off.

"Cause he's a big fat whore...what made me say that?" Emmett boomed.

"Chutes and ladders would be so good indeed,"

"So why'd I have to sell that cop a bag of weed?"

"So Santa please give me that easy bake oven." Rose and easy bake ovens- yeah right! I started to turn purple again.

"I swear I thought Billy goats were made for lovin'." _Oh My Carlisle._ I thought.

"So Santa wont you accept my apologies,

Santa cant you see I'm begging you please," Rose sang.

"Oh Santa next year Ill do you right,  
Live from New York its Saturday night..." Emmett finished.

I was laughing harder than I ever thought I could before and my sides were in agony. Tears were streaming down my face as I applauded them for their performance. I sat up gasping for air as Alice asked who was next. I pointed to Edward who suddenly stopped chuckling and looked worried.

"Bella that will be awesome to make him sing to!" Alice yelled as she ran over to the stereo.

"What am I singing to exa…..." I cut him off before he could

"First- you have to go put on your reindeer outfit!" I commanded him.

"But, Bella please…." He tried to dazzle me. I stopped breathing for a minute before me senses came back. Good thing his two faces confused me again.

"No- go put it on now!" I said.

"Fine…" He groaned as he ran upstairs.

"What is he dancing to?" Jasper, Emmett, and Rose all asked me quickly. I took a moment to torture them in suspense before I answered.

"He will be dancing to….Alice show them the CD so he won't hear." I remembered he could hear us and I was not about to let him find out about it.

They all ran over to Alice who quickly showed them the CD. All of them fell to the floor laughing hysterically.

"Bella that is perfect!"

**Edward POV**

I tried reading everybody's thoughts while I stripped off my clothes and climbed into the stupid reindeer outfit.

_This will be priceless…._Jasper thought.

_I can't wait to see what he will do! _Definitely Rose.

_Ha! This will so be used to taunt him! Him dancing to….oh crap he can read my thoughts….. __If I could escape, and re-create a place as my own world, And I could be your favorite girl. Forever, perfectly together, tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?_

Ugh! Emmett……I blocked him after that. I did **not** want to here 'The Sweet Escape' right now. I slipped on the antlers and ran downstairs to find everyone stifling their giggles, and Bella smiling innocently.

I hated it when they blocked their thoughts form me. All of the show tunes coming form Jazz were starting to drive me insane! I threw him a dirty look. _Sorry…._he thought. I nodded thanks.

Alice danced over to the stereo again and the song that I hate the most out of all of the Christmas songs ever invented came on.

"Bella, please choose something else. You know how sorry I still am about that!"

"Oh no- you are singing this one." She said laughing. "You are the one that her over not me!" She smiled wickedly at me. I was surprised by what she did so I snatched the microphone form Alice's hand and started to sing.

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer  
walkin' home from our house Christmas Eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa.  
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much egg-nog.  
And we'd begged her not to go.  
But she'd forgot her medication,  
and she staggered out the door into the snow.

When we found her Christmas mornin,'  
at the scene of the attack.  
She had hoof prints on her forehead,  
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,  
walkin' home from our house Christmas Eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa.  
He's been takin' this so well.  
See him in there watchin' football,  
drinkin' beer and playin' cards with Cousin Belle.

It's not Christmas without Grandma.  
All the family dressed in black.  
And we just can't help but wonder:  
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?  
(_Send them back_)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,  
walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table.  
And the pudding made of fig.  
And a blue and silver candle,  
that would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.  
"Better watch out for yourselves."  
They should never give a license,  
to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,  
walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.  
(_Sing it Grandpa_)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,  
walkin' home from our house, Christmas Eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe."

Bella started to applaud and I made a small bow. I was so glad that was over!

**Bella POV**

I knew that Edward still felt sorry about my cat that I had known for about thirty minutes, and he needed to get over it- that is why I choose this song. He sang incredibly well, and I almost fell asleep while he did. When he was done, I applauded his work. He walked over and gave me a kiss on the lips. My head started to swim just as he pulled back. Over too soon again. I sighed. Edward smiled.

"Okay, time for our duet Jazz!"

I watched as Alice skipped over and grabbed a shocked Jasper's hand.

**Jasper POV**

I loved Alice with all of my heart, but I couldn't believe she wanted to sing a duet! I was shocked. She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat on the couch. She hit the button on a small remote that she was carrying and our song started to play just as we got ready.

"I want a hippopotamus for Christmas  
Only a hippopotamus will do  
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy  
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy." Alice sang next to me.

"I want a hippopotamus for Christmas  
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?  
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue  
Just bring him through the front door,  
that's the easy thing to do." I intoned.

"I can see me now on Christmas morning,  
creeping down the stairs  
Oh what joy and what surprise  
when I open up my eyes  
to see a hippo hero standing there." Alice's voice rang out.

"I want a hippopotamus for Christmas  
Only a hippopotamus will do

No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses  
I only like hippopotamuses  
And hippopotamuses like me too." I continued.

"Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then  
Teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian.

There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage  
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage." Alice chimed in.

"I can see me now on Christmas morning,  
creeping down the stairs  
Oh what joy and what surprise  
when I open up my eyes  
to see a hippo hero standing there." I repeated.

"I want a hippopotamus for Christmas  
Only a hippopotamus will do  
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses  
I only like hippopotamuseses  
And hippopotamuses like me too!" Alice and I sang perfectly together.

Everyone clapped as we finished and took our bows. Except for Bella, who was laughing uncontrollably on the floor due to the song.

**Alice POV**

We all sat down on the floor and started laughing and talking about the songs. Until, Bella got the idea to torture Edward a bit more for the night. Oh this was going to be so funny.

"Alice," she asked as she hiccuped and wobbled slightly. "May I see your phone?"

"Absolutely, I said tossing it to her."

"Well, Edward, since I have to put up with my stalker at work, I figured it was time for you to talk to yours." Bella said as she handed him the phone.

The look on his face was priceless as he realized what she was talking about. He was completely shocked.

"You are going to call Jessica Stanley! And you have t confess your undying love for her."

Bella was being heartless! I loved it!

"But, Bella….you know I only love you." He pleaded to her with his eyes.

"Oh no!" I cut in angrily as he dazzled her. "I have to stay dressed in this stupid emo-elf outfit for two days! You HAVE to call her!"

"Listen to the little emo!" Emmett bellowed.

"Shut up, and go get in your costume Frosty!" I yelled at him while giving him a death glare. He knew he couldn't argue so her sighed and ran upstairs and slowly changed. He came down just in time to see Edward starting to dial Jessica's number.

**Bella POV **

I knew it was a little cruel to make Edward have to 'confess his love' to Jessica, but I had to put up with Mike at work so this was the least he could do. I watched the lights on the ten foot tall Christmas tree Alice had put up in their living room while Edward dialed the number. This was the first time I had noticed any of the decorations all evening long. They had a massive tree with ornaments that looked professionally made and matched the lights perfectly. There was a small village on top of fake snow on Edward's piano. Bows and garland and lights were hung everywhere in the house. It was beautiful.

I was brought out of my daze of examining Alice's decorations when I heard Edward say hello.

**Edward POV**

I dialed Jessica's number and waited for three rings praying that she wouldn't pick up. Just as I was about to click the phone shut she answered. Damn! I took a deep, unnecessary breath. Here goes nothing.

**Jessica POV**

My phone was ringing and I didn't know where it was. I found it quickly and checked the ID. I didn't recognize the number so I flipped it open slowly.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey- Jessica?" Someone asked me. I knew it was a guy, but who?

"Yes? Who is this?"

"This is Edward Cullen."

"Oh…..hey." I said sweetly. OMG! THE hottest guy alive was calling ME!

"I was just calling to tell you something. But, I don't really know how to say it."

"Well what is it?" I asked anxiously. I heard him take a deep breath.

"I love you." I stopped breathing.

**Edward POV **

I couldn't believe had just said those words to the vilest, backstabbing girl on the face of the planet. I shuddered as I thought about it. Why did you make me do this Bella? I looked at her longingly as she laughed in my lap.

"But, you are dating Bella," she said confused.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything. I used her to get to you." I couldn't believe I was saying this.

"Oh…" she said suddenly.

**Bella POV**

It was funny watching Edward squirm. I don't think I had ever seen him this uncomfortable before. A look of horror crossed his face as Jessica said something. He said bye really fats and tossed the phone to Alice like it was toxic, which it probably was now.

"What did she say?" I asked anxiously.

"She said she love me too and that she knew we were meant to be together and then she said, 'bye sweetie.' Bella, why did you make me do that?" He asked. The look on his face was priceless. I flicked on his antlers so that the red lights started to flash as I looked at his perfect, pleadingly, horror stricken face.

"Because, Newton stalks me, so now Jessica will stalk you. Fair is fair. Plus it gives me a reason to have Alice break her legs when we get back to school." I said laughing. Alice just smiled at me.

"Let's get back to karaoke! Bella hasn't sung anything all night long." Alice whined. I knew exactly what I wanted to sing. I ran up to the stereo and put in a mix CD. My song started as I took my place.

**Alice POV**

The main reason why I wanted to get back to karaoke was because I had the funniest vision of what Bella was going to sing and do. I couldn't wait any longer. After I said that Bella should go, I could almost see the light ding above her head as she took her place and the music started.

(Okay this is Bella's performance, if you have seen it, picture the part form grandma's boy where Samantha sings at the party.)

**Bella POV**

I started to dance as the music came on. My hips swayed perfectly with the rythem and then I started to sing.

"Ah, push it

Ah, push it

Oooh, baby, baby

Baby, baby

Oooh, baby, baby

Baby, baby

Get up on this!

Ow! Baby!

Salt and Pepa's here!

Now wait a minute, ya'll

This dance ain't for everybody

Only the sexy people

So all you fly mothers, get on out there and dance

Dance, I said!

Salt and Pepa's here, and were in effect

Want you to push it, babe

Coolin by day then at night working up a sweat

C'mon girls, lets go show the guys that we know

How to become number one in a hot party show

Now push it

Ah, push it - push it good

Ah, push it - push it real good

Ah, push it - push it good

Ah, push it - p-push it real good

Hey! Ow!

Push it good!" I sang. I fell down just as I said good. As I fell, I dropped the microphone. I heard my bell at the end of my Santa hat ring, and then everything went black as the floor came at me.

_Forgive any typos sorry but I didn't want to reread it because I was so excited that I had another chapter done! So review and tell me what you would like to see happen next in the story!_


	16. Chapter 15: Jessica

**An: **OK a lot of people asked for this as a chapter so here it is. I know that it is short, but I couldn't't think of a good way to add anything to it. So sorry if it isn't that good- I tried to throw in a little fluff as well. Also please tell me who you would like to see exchange gifts because doing it between all of them would be too many gifts!

Oh and the part with the door is kind of like a different version of the scene with the ghost in Scary Movie 2 if you know what I am talking about.

**Chapter 14: Jessica**

**Edward POV**

I picked Bella up very carefully off the floor near the tree where she had landed. I was going to kill Alice for this. Why would she get my Bella drunk in the first place? I ran her up to my room and put her under the covers on the bed. I sighed and lay down next to her- cradling her in my arms. I would never get over how we seemed to fit together perfectly.

I was just getting comfortable when I heard someone's thoughts that were practically screaming at me.

_Oh. My. God. I can't believe he loves me! I knew Bella never stood a chance and he really liked me…_

I blocked out the rest of the persons thoughts that were suddenly very vicious and obscene. I shuddered. Then I realized who it was- Jessica. I growled. What in the hell was she doing here?! Oh crap! That stupid phone call!

"Edward! Someone is here to see you." Alice called loudly to keep up our façfacade.

I groaned. I did not want to go down and see Jessica and have to tell her the truth. I just wanted to lie here with Bella all night until she woke up. I really was going to kill Alice for this! Unwillingly, I got up and headed for the front door.

**Alice POV**

I had just finished putting up the stereo when I heard a knock on the door. For once I was surprised. I quickly scanned the future to see who it was before I opened the door. Oh no! Edward was not going to like this. I felt sorry him at the fact that his stalker was at our front door for him, but I had to stifle my giggles when I saw what she was wearing- well, more like what she wasn't wearing- and what she was going to do.

I calmed myself with the help off Jasper who was eying me suspiciously from his seat on the couch and went to the door. Gracefully, I swung the door open to see a stunned Jessica. Obviously, she wasn't expecting me to answer. I stifled my giggles and managed to turn them into a sweet smile.

"Hi, Jessica."

"Hi…um….Alice…." she gulped as I eyed her curiously. "Is….Edward… here?" she asked in a squeaky voice.

"Why, yes, he actually is……Edward! Someone is here to see you!" I heard him growl when he figured out who it was and then sigh as he stopped snuggling with Bella. "He's coming." I said to Jessica.

She stood there wide eyed and gulping as the seconds passed before Edward joined us. I turned to leave when he got closer.

_Just stay clam- maybe you won't find out what she isn't wearing…_ I thought to Edward when I passed by him in the hall. He looked like a dear in headlights, and his eyes got wide in shock as he heard my thought. He nodded to me like a robot; I walked quickly back to Jasper about to burst into laughter at any moment.

**Edward POV**

_Just stay clam- maybe you won't find out what she isn't wearing…_ Alice thought to me. Oh dear God please tell me she is just kidding. I gulped and my eyes grew wide. She walked past me about to burst into laughter. This was going to be very bad….

I got to the front door and opened it to find Jessica standing there in a trench coat. Oh God no!

"Hi, Edward..." she said in what I think she meant to be a seductive voice.

_Oh, God, please no! This can't be happening! Why me? Alice's wardrobe is as good as torched for this! Please let her be civilized about this! _I thought to myself as I looked at Jessica.

She took a step closer, and I backed up into the doorway more. There was NO way she was getting near me.

"Hey, Jessica." I finally replied coolly wincing inward at her coarse thoughts. I worked on blocking her immediately and was very relieved when I did.

"I just came here to see-" I cut her off abruptly.

"Look Jessica…" I said pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes for an effect of what I was about to say. "I…I… don't feel very well. My head is killing me, and I just want some sleep. I get migraines some times and sleep is the only thing that makes them go away." I said in one long rush.

I was sure that I already looked a little sick form hearing her thoughts and talking to her in the first place; therefore, I decided that would be the most plausible lie to make her leave swiftly. I was glad that I was managing to block her out for this long, but I wasn't sure how long my luck would hold out. With each passing second she just stood there, I felt the need to make her go away before I lost my control and snapped at her.

"Oh… but I can think of something that will make you feel better." She purred while taking another step toward me.

_What the hell? Why won't she leave? Damn it! _I thought. _It should have worked! I have to try harder!_

That was when I felt her hand on my shoulder. I jumped a mile high and took three extra steps back. Finally, she got the message and retreated some.

"Well, when would be a better time?" she said with a wink. If I could have thrown up, I would have. The only person I loved was Bella! No way in hell would I be with Jessica- EVER!

"No time soon….." I said closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose again as I leaned against the open door.

_Well let's see if this will change his mind…_

Her thought hit me like a tidal wave- probably because I was trying to block her so hard. My eyes flew open and I saw Jessica's hands clutching the ties of the trench coat she was wearing.

"_Just stay clam- maybe you won't find out what she isn't wearing….."_ Alice's earlier thought rang in my head. I jumped behind the door and slammed it in Jessica's face. OMC no! I was NOT going to see her naked! I was not going back out there no matter what. I talked to her through the door in a loud voice because I was too shocked and repulsed to open it and see her.

"Look Jessica, it would never work between us. I only love Bella and only ever will love HER! I said those things to you because I was dared to! Bye!"

I sunk down to sit on the floor on my side of the door. I put as much pressure as I could on the door without breaking it in case she tried to open it. I even reached up and secured the dead bolt. Sitting safely on my side of the door, I heard her pound her fist against it above my head. She could stand out there all night, but I was not going to open the door.

"Edward, please just open the door!" she yelled as she pounded on it. I pretended not to hear her.

**(Here comes the Scary Movie 2 part)**

"Eddie, come on…. open the door, we can work this out my love. Nothing can come between us if we try." Her voice had turned into pleading and I would have thrown up again if possible when she said, "my love."

"It was just a dare!" I yelled to the closed door as I stood up.

"Why won't you talk to me about it?" she screamed in frustration.

"Because you are psychotic!" I screamed back.

Not waiting for her reply, I flew up to my room and jumped in bed with Bella again. I buried my face in her hair and neck trying to forget what I almost just saw and experienced.

After about five minutes of Jessica pounding on the door and shouting my name, she stopped. I sighed in relief as I heard her leave the porch, get into her car, and drive away.

_Wow Bella wasn't kidding when she said stalker…_Jasper's thoughts.

_Oh I am so going to tease him with this. _Emmett's thought made me growl a little. _Just kidding Eddie, don't growl you might wake up the human. _

_Ha! That was priceless! _Rosalie.

_Edward Anthony Mason Cullen! If you so much as lay one finger on ANYTHING in my closet I swear I will personally take a baseball bat to your precious little Volvo! _Alice.

I laughed. "Don't worry Alice, and there is no need to threaten the Volvo like that."

_Good! But don't scare me like that. It wasn't even my dare! Wait- _"Not my Porsche!" she screamed in terror from downstairs. "I didn't even do anything!"

"You could have warned me. And you got Bella drunk!" I snarled.

_Edward I-_

"Goodnight Alice!" I said as I blocked her out. We would save this argument for tomorrow because I just wanted to relax at the moment. Plus, I was worried that I was disturbing Bella when she started to stir.

"Edward…" Bella mumbled my name in her sleep.

Instantly, I blocked out everyone else in the house. I snuggled closer to her- if that was possible- never wanting to leave. Finally, I could _peacefully_ spend the night with my love! I sighed in relief.

_**Important: **__Awww….He is so sweet. Review and tell me what you think! Please alert me to any mistakes that I missed- I only glanced over it before posting. And tell me who you would like to see exchange gifts on Christmas day because doing all of them would be too much! And tell me if you have any more ideas for chapters before I post the last Christmas day chapter. Thanks!_


	17. Chapter 16: Waking Up

**AN: **I wanted to do a chapter about the next day when Bella wakes up with a hangover and finds out what she did. I will get to the Christmas day chapter soon, probably within this week. Enjoy. Review!

**Chapter 16:** **Waking Up**

I woke up to find myself clinging to a cold marble chest. I breathed Edward in deeply and enjoyed his sweet smell. It felt like everything was perfect for once, until I felt the throbbing in my head. It felt like the pain was pounding in my head with every beat of my heart, and it was. I tried to sit up after I freed my arms from around Edward, but I quickly flopped back down on the pillows when sitting up made the room spin.

"Good morning beautiful." Edward said into my hair.

"Not so much on the 'good' and 'beautiful' this morning." I groaned.

I grabbed my head in my hands and blocked the faint light coming from the windows. Using all of my woozy force that I could summon, I pulled the covers up over my head and closed my eyes tightly. So far, this was the only thing that was helping my head- silence and darkness.

My temporary reprieve from pain was interrupted by a cold arm snaking across my waist and the other one coaxing the covers down from over my head. I turned and looked into Edward's eyes.

"Too many eggnogs last night?" he asked sympathetically.

I nodded my head, but stopped when it made it throb even more. "Yes. If you need any help killing Alice, I will gladly assist after I get over this." He chuckled.

As soon as the words left my lips, Alice burst through the door. The sudden sound didn't help my problem. I groaned and covered my ears. "Now Bella…" I heard Alice's muffled voice. "You drank those _willingly_."

I groaned again. "Whatever Alice, just stop yelling! It isn't helping my hangover!" I said back angrily.

"Oh…sorry…I kind of forgot about that…" she said while grinning sheepishly.

Edward growled at her and she flew out of the door- slamming it in her hasty exit. I grabbed my head as the sound ricocheted off of the walls. Then she came back and stuck her head in the door.

"Sorry- stop growling Edward- come down stairs when you are ready." She said as she gently closed the door behind herself for once.

Edward sighed and lay back down on the bed next to me. He hugged me closely, and I buried my face in his chest. It seemed to help with my headache. It was a good excuse.

"Do you want breakfast?" he asked sincerely.

"I don't feel like I could eat anything even if I wanted to." I sighed.

"Well- come on-" He said as he picked me up sweetly. "Alice is about to explode for you to get downstairs."

"Is this good or bad?" I asked in a terrified voice. This was Alice after all…

"Well, how much do you remember about last night?" He asked with a raise of his eyebrows.

"Hmmm…I remember starting Sorry! And then it just gets fuzzy from there and that's it." I said.

"Well, I'm not sure what to say about it then."

His little comment made me nervous, and we were downstairs with Jasper calming me in a flash.

"Bella!" Alice squealed.

I really looked at her and gasped. What was she wearing? It was hideous! Was that even Alice? It had to be, but what the hell?! She looked like a depressed emo elf. Alice would never dress that way, and her makeup looked terrible! I was still in shock.

"Alice," I said while still gawking at her. "What are you wearing?" I said in a puzzled tone. A look of anger suddenly crossed her face, but then it was replaced by amusement.

"Watch and see." She commanded as she hit the play button.

Alice was on TV talking to us.

"Okay, Bella is drunk off of spiked eggnog…"

"I knew that tasted funny!" I shouted in her little pause on tape. She winked at me.

"I am putting a camera up in the living room so that she can see what she does tomorrow so that she will remember. Now, Bella, I saw where your memory fades, so the tape starts from there."

The TV went to static for a brief moment before picking up with our game of Sorry! I was laughing at how everyone kept screaming at each other and the funny look on my face as we played. I nearly fell off the couch, but Edward was holding on to me so I didn't. Finally, the tape got to the point that I couldn't remember anything.

I gasped as I saw myself get up and retardly dance around the room with Jasper after we won the game. I blushed a new shade of red, and Edward gave my hand that he was holding a comforting squeeze.

I watched as we administered our dares to the losing teams. Jasper had gotten Emmett and Rose. I perched myself closer to the edge of the couch and saw Jasper give Emmett his original dare. Then, Rose pleaded with him, and he dared both of them to dance around to High School Musical Two at school. The look on Emmett and Rose's face was priceless! I was near hysterics when I finally managed to choke out between gasp,

"You shouldn't have changed it Jazz!"

I glanced over to see him smiling. I was still laughing when a quick glare form Emmett and Rose who were still upset about the whole thing shut me up, but Edward kept laughing.

Then, it was my turn. I started getting nervous when Edward stiffened behind me. Alice was beaming with pride and yet she was also looking very angry in her elf hat. It was hard to look at her with out laughing so I turned my attention to everyone else in the room. Emmett, Rose, and Jasper were smirking. Wow. This must have been really bad. I went back to nervously watching the tape.

"_Alice…..You must let me give you a makeover!" I said happily. Then I started to giggle. "And you have to stay the way I put you for two days!"_

So that explains the outfit….

"_Bella…..PLEASE…choose something else." Alice whined. I closed my eyes so I couldn't see her pout._

"_No! You made these rules so stick to them missy! Or I will choose something worse." I snapped back at her. Her eyes got wide as she saw what I might make her do to her instead. Finally she succumbed._

I must have threatened her wardrobe.

"_Oh fine!" she huffed._

"_Edie….." I began in a sweet voice that was ever so slightly slurred as I turned to him._

"_Yes Bella….." He said as he shot Alice death rays._

"_You have to do anything I tell you to do for the rest of the night and tomorrow. In other words I will run your life for the next thirty six hours." I smiled sweetly at him._

Oh crap! Wait! That was still in effect!

"_But….."_

"_No, no, no…" I said as I waved my finger in his face. My Santa hat flopped in front of my face just as I was about to start and I had to swat at it to get it back. "You know the rules." I went to take a step towards him, but just as I did, I tripped over my own feet._

_Even Edward wasn't fast enough to keep me from falling. So, I hit the carpet hard. When, I rolled over laughing at myself. Everyone looked at me like I was psychotic before Jasper started sending out waves of hilarity apparently and had everyone on the floor with me._

_After our giggle fit, I grabbed Alice by the arm and drug her upstairs._

OMC. I could see why Alice was angry now, and I could only imagine what I made poor Edward do in the last twelve hours. I went back to the tape and heard Alice screaming at Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Edward who were in the living room scheming and thinking to come and help her. Then I heard myself telling her to calm down and sit still.

"You could have come to help me!" She said as she elbowed Jasper in the ribs and glared at everyone else.

I gulped before she could look at me, and when I turned my attention back to the tape, I saw Alice coming down the stairs in the same outfit that she was now wearing but she had a pissed expression on her face. I laughed for a minute, but then I felt bad about what I had done. At least her makeovers usually made me look decent.

"Alice." I said as I looked at her face. She looked like she would be crying if she could. I sighed. "I am so sorry Alice, you can take it off now- forget the two whole days thing."

She jumped up off of the couch and ran over to me, embarking me in a bone crushing hug at an awkward angle.

"ThankyouBella!Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" she shouted to me as she flew up the stairs to her room.

I sucked in a huge breath when she let me go. I continued watching the tape; my jaw hit the floor when Edward called Jessica and he told her he loved her. The worst part was that I couldn't be mad about it because I was the one who had mad him do it in the first place. He looked down on me with doleful eyes that asked why-did-you-do-this-to-me?

"I am so sorry Edward." I said in a very apologetic voice.

He kissed me sweetly and whispered, "I know." Into my ear before pulling away. At least all was forgiven.

Then came the best part of the tape- karaoke! I was laughing hysterically by the end of Emmett and Rose's performance of 'The Santa Song' and fell off of the couch. I was pretty sure I was turning purple by now. Edward was next, and he was performing in his reindeer costume. OMC! He was singing 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer'! What a fitting song….

"I am so sorry- again!" I said. I turned and buried my face into his chest when he pulled me off the floor and I saw the embarrassment in his eyes.. I heard someone snicker- probably Rose. I didn't care though. I was practically merciless to Edward! How could I be so un-thoughtful? I felt his hands rubbing soothing circles on my back. I finally relaxed when his song was over and rolled back on my side to catch Jasper and Alice singing 'I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.' I was laughing because if Alice really wanted one, she would have bought it off the internet already! Plus, I could picture tiny Alice playing with a hippo in my mind. My laughter was cut short when I saw myself get up to sing. This was going to be _very_ bad.

I put my hands over my face and blushed furiously when I started to sing and dance to 'Push It'. I wanted to go find a rock to crawl under and die! Edward grabbed my hands reassuringly, and I slid them down so that I could see the TV. It wasn't as bad as I expected- well the dance wasn't. It was still pretty bad, but drunken Bella almost seemed a bit more coordinated than sober Bella. The worst part was the singing- which was horrible- and then the ending when I crashed into the Christmas tree while passing out.

"Oh. My. God." I said in shock as I stared at the TV after the screen went to static again.

Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice were laughing and arguing over their dares so I thankfully avoided that particular awkward moment after my little show.

"Calm down, love." Edward said as he kissed my neck. I was still blushing furiously. "You sing very well."

I was about to protest when the static on the screen stopped and a view of the front door came on. Someone was holding the camera. It was shaking because they were laughing. I heard the people shushing one another. I heard a smack and figured Rose had whapped Emmett. Alice answered the front door that someone was knocking on. I couldn't see who it was, but I knew as soon as Alice opened it and spoke to them.

"_Hi, Jessica." Alice said sweetly._

"_Hi…um….Alice…..Is….Edward… here?" Jessica asked in a squeaky voice._

"_Why, yes, he actually is……Edward! Someone is here to see you...He's coming." She said to Jessica._

_I watched as Edward came into view, still unaware of the film crew, and walked past Alice who was close to bursting out laughing. When he passed her, he slowed down like a deer in headlights and paused for a second before walking on._

"_Hi, Edward..." Jessica said in an attempt at a seductive voice._

That had me rolling on the floor in laughter again.

_She took a step closer to him, and Edward backed up into the doorway more. _

"_Hey, Jessica." He said indifferently. _

At least he is playing it cool…

"_I just came here to see-"_

"_Look Jessica…" He said cutting her off abruptly. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "I…I… don't feel very well. My head is killing me, and I just want some sleep. I get migraines some times and sleep is the only thing that makes them go away." Edward said in one long rush, not allowing her to get a word in edgewise. _

"_Oh… but I can think of something that will make you feel better." She purred while taking another step toward him._

I was ready to kill her now.

_She walked up to Edward who had closed his eyes again and placed a hand on his shoulder. _

She was definitely dead.

_Edward jumped a mile high and took three extra steps back. Finally, she got the message and retreated some._

"_Well, when would be a better time?" she said with a wink. Edward looked like he might throw up- if he could. _

"_No time soon….." He said closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose again as he leaned against the open door._

_Edward's eyes flew open to see Jessica's hands clutching the ties of the trench coat she was wearing._

Right about now, I was plotting fifty ways Alice could help me destroy her.

_He jumped behind the door and slammed it in Jessica's face. "Look Jessica, it would never work between us. I only love Bella and only ever will love HER! I said those things to you because I was dared to! Bye!"_

I knew I had a really good reason for loving Edward. I turned and gave him a sweet kiss. Nice save Edward!

_He sunk down to sit on the floor on the opposite side of the door. He even reached up and secured the dead bolt. Sitting safely on the opposite side of the door with Edward, the camera crew caught her pounding her fist against the door above Edward's head. _

"_Edward, please just open the door!" she yelled as she pounded on it. He pretended not to hear her._

"_Eddie, come on…. "_

Oh, no, she did not! I was now glaring at the TV.

"_Open the door; we can work this out my love. Nothing can come between us if we try." Her voice had turned into pleading._

I was gagging now and wondered how Edward had not thrown up even though he couldn't.

"_It was just a dare!" He yelled to the closed door as he stood up._

"_Why won't you talk to me about it?" she screamed in frustration._

"_Because you are psychotic!" He screamed back._

_Edward ran up the stairs and away form the door as fast as he possibly could- not even waiting for her reply. There was hysterical laughter coming form the TV now as the camera was obviously dropped and everyone was on the floor laughing at what had just occurred. _

The scene in the living room resembled that in the TV. Alice came down looking like Alice again. I turned to Edward after I stopped laughing at the ending and said, "I am sorry."

He sighed and pulled me closer to him. "Don't' worry about it." My Greek God smiled down on me and pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back as hard as I could manage. "Still wasn't as bad as what that vile Mike Newton thinks about you." He said into my ear.

"I'm still sorry though." I murmured into his chest, but I knew he caught every word.

Alice cut short our apologies with an unnecessary clearing of her throat to get our attention. I rolled over to her and all of us were facing her now. She waited dramatically before saying, "I have a plan."

_Oh what could Alice be planning now? Any suggestions? If not that's okay. I mainly want to buy myself more time on the Christmas day chapter, but I will be up soon. Sorry for any errors, but this was a rather long chapter that I didn't want to re-read and I was excited to have something to post for al of you. Review!_


	18. Chapter 17: The Plan: Part 1

**AN: **Thank you for the wonderful reviews and all the ideas. The plan is starting to come together.

**Chapter 17: The Plan **

**(Part 1: Getting Ready)**

**Bella POV**

After Alice had let her little, "I have a plan!" comment slip, all of us were begging her to tell us what she saw that was so great. However, Alice would not budge one bit! Even Jasper couldn't't make her tell us when he manipulated her emotions! She was really too good at keeping this secret. For being Alice, I was surprised she hadn't exploded already. Even now, a few days after our pre-Christmas party, she still wouldn't't tell us. But, it was finally Christmas day, so I decided that it was pointless to worry about it now.

I rolled over and opened my eyes…..

? POV

Bella rolled over now that she was finally awake. Well, her heartbeat told me that she had been for about two minutes before she rolled over. She opened her eyes and screamed. In her shock, she rolled backward and fell of the bed into a mass of tangled sheets that were wrapped around her. I laughed before leaning over the bedside to see if she was OK after hitting the floor.

"Aw…Come on Bella…" I whined. "I'm not that scary, and besides, it hurts my feelings that you were expecting to see Edward instead of me. I feel thoroughly insulted." I said as I watched her untangle herself.

Bella POV

I sat up after Alice leaned over the side of the bed to check on me. I glared at her while unwrapping myself from the sheets. After that was accomplished, I jumped back onto the bed curiously.

"So where is Edward?" I asked.

"He had a few last minute things to take care off…Plus, I sent him off to hunt for my plan." Alice smiled proudly at me.

I cocked my eyebrow again. "What last minute things?"

"Nothing to worry about Bella…" she chided me softly. "Now, more importantly, MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Alice said to me loudly.

I clamped my hand over her mouth and glanced nervously at the door. Alice just giggled. I raised my eyebrows in confusion, but then I scowled as I realized I was out of the loop. What was I missing here?

"Alice?" I took my hand form over her mouth and her giggles quieted down.

"Charlie knows I am here. He said it was OK for me to come wake you up." she laughed.

"Oh… OH! What time is it?" I turned to my clock in horror, but then I realized it was just seven. Whew! Not that Alice would let me sleep late anyway…

"Just so you know, after you have Christmas with Charlie, you are coming with us!" Alice seemed very happy about her plan all of a sudden.

"Alice, who exactly is us?" I asked cautiously.

"Us as in me, Jasper, Emmett, Edward, Rose, Car lisle, and Esme. Think of it as one great big Christmas gift on top of all of the others!" She said cheerily.

I groaned. "You know I told you no presents!" I said as I threw a pillow at her playfully.

She returned the favor.

"But seriously Bella, it's Christmas! You honestly did't want anything?"

"Nope." I said while shaking my head.

"Anyway…" she said as she got over what I had just told her. "Time to get up and get going!"

I started to say something, but she started dragging/pushing/carrying me to the door before I knew what she was doing.

"Alice what are you doing?" I hissed as she opened my door.

"Making you go take a shower so you can have Christmas with Charlie and then get on with my plan because I saw that if I didn't do this you would play twenty questions with me until I almost caved and you delayed the plan even more!" she whispered into my ear menacingly.

She was right though. I had a ton of questions about her plan, and I wanted to know what was going on. I sighed.

"At least let me grab my stuff before you throw me out of my own room." I said as I grabbed the door frame into my hands to stop Alice form forcing me through it anymore than she already had.

"Ugh! It is already in there. Outfit and all that I have picked out for you to wear today!" she said, still lightly pushing on my back.

"Alice…" I groaned. She shushed me.

"No protesting about it. It will look good! Now get you butt in there."

She gave me one final push and I stumbled out of my bedroom and all the way into the bathroom. Not even wanting to see what Alice had picked out for me, I quickly jumped into the shower and began my morning ritual. After that, I grabbed the clothes Alice had given me. _Wow._ I thought. They weren't really that bad. Alice had gone easy on me for once.

She had given me jeans, designer of course, and a scoop-neck navy blue sweater. There were even black ballerina flats that went perfectly with the outfit. Once I dressed, I walked out of the bathroom and headed down stairs to find Charlie waiting for me instead of Alice.

"Merry Christmas dad!" I said happily.

"Good morning Bella. Merry Christmas to you too!"

"Um…where did Alice go?" I asked a bit confused.

"Oh she already left. She had just wanted to give you her gift so that you could wear it today. Then she took off."

That sneaky little vampire. This was her gift so that there was no way I could refuse it!

"Oh…" I said simply.

_Any gift ideas are welcome and the plan is starting to come together. So keep the reviews coming! Thank you!_


	19. Chapter 18: The Plan: Part 2

**An: **Thanks to lanna-misssunshine for giving me this idea and helping with this chapter. Thank you for all of the reviews. Here is the chapter…

**Chapter 18: The Plan**

**(Part Two: On the Road)**

After my Christmas with Charlie, I got packed, and Edward came to pick me up. He drove me to his house in record time. All of us were sitting in the living room on the couches and chairs when Alice decided to reveal her plan to us. She danced to the middle of the room and stopped in front of a huge expo board that she had gotten with a red marker in her hand.

"Okay, first of all, this trip will be amazing, and I do not want to hear any complaining!" she said as she eyed me closely. I smiled innocently. Alice took a deep breath. "Secondly, we can not open our gifts until we get there."

"_What_?" Rose, Jasper, Edward, and Emmett shouted at the same time. Carlisle and Esme smiled.

"Not everyone already knows what they got Alice!" Emmett started to pout like a two year old.

"Children please calm down." Esme said in a soothing voice.

Carlisle grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes as if to say thank you. I just sat still on Edwards lap happy that no one was noticing me. Then Carlisle got up and went to the center of the room by Alice.

"Look," he began. "Alice told me her plan and I think you will all enjoy it. Please, trust me on this, you will love it. We will open our presents when we get there tonight. It will still be Christmas-"

"Actually, I wanted to give one person their present before we left Carlisle." Alice interrupted him in the middle of his speech.

"Oh, okay, Alice, who is it for?" he asked surprised. All the eyes in the room were on Alice.

"It's for Bella, but it is for the trip." Alice added quickly.

Emmett's pout got worse. Rose went to looking at her fingernails again. Jasper just sat there, and Edward gave my hand a squeeze. Okay, I took a deep breath. I could handle this- depending on what it was. I watched as Alice pulled a beautifully wrapped present form behind her back. It was small, so at least it couldn't be high heels or something like that, but it probably was expensive.

She thrust the present into my face, and I took it form her hands. I took another deep breathe and went to unwrapping it. When, I finally lifted the lid off of the box, I gasped. What Alice had gotten me was something that I had secretly wanted form Charlie, but felt a little guilty to ask for because it was a bit pricy. It was a dark blue, 4 GB, iPod Nano. The color wasn't a standard one so she must have had it made special which cost more, but this was Alice- she could do almost anything and money didn't matter that much. I was a bit sad about the price, but despite the cost, I loved it! I had wanted one of these for months.

"Thank you Alice!" I yelled as I jumped up and hugged my sister. I figured part of my gift to her would be not worrying about the cost of things like she told me not to this morning. So, I kept my mouth shut about that.

"Glad you like it, and Bella, I already put music on there. Edward helped me," I turned and hugged Edward tightly. "And, I saw what you would and wouldn't like." She beamed. I jumped up and hugged her again.

After I was done hugging Alice and Edward for my gift, Alice said, "Okay, now this is how we will sit in the cars." Edward groaned behind me. "Hush Edward, it will be fun!" Alice snapped. He sighed.

"Now," she said as she started to draw x's and o's on the board like a football coach. "For the first part of the trip, Emmett, Rose, Bella, and I will ride in Emmett's jeep- Emmett driving of course. Jasper and Edward will go in Edward's Volvo. And, Esme and Carlisle will take Carlisle's Mercedes."

Alice gave us a look that dared us to defy her. No one was stupid enough to try. However, Edward and Jasper were silently fuming for not being able to ride with Alice, and me.

"Now, for the second half of the trip, Edward, Jasper, Bella, and I will switch and ride in the Volvo- leaving Emmett and Rose alone." Emmett got a mischievous smile on his face. Edward shuddered. "Now- let's get going!" Alice yelled.

Carlisle and Esme went up to their room and returned seconds later with their bags. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Alice, and Edward all ran up to get their bags. I just stood in the living room with nothing since my bags were already in Edward's trunk. After a few minutes of waiting for the rest of them, I went out on the porch to wait.

The day was cold and there was a fresh layer of snow on the ground. I shivered involuntarily and wrapped my thick winter coat tighter around myself. We better be going somewhere warm. Of course, with them being vampires, I knew that was probably out of the question. We were probably going somewhere cold_**er**_. _At least there would be heaters._ I thought to myself.

I was outside only a minute or so before Alice came flying out of the house with four bags in her hands. Jasper followed carrying eight. Only two looked like his. Emmett was in the same condition as Jasper, except Rose wasn't carrying anything. I laughed at the scene. Then, the person I had been waiting for, Edward, came down carrying one bag- one big one and another very small one. I wondered what it was, but I decided not to ask when I saw how he was smiling.

"Why can't you ride in the car with me?" he asked as he dropped his bags on the porch and pulled me closer to him.

"Ask Alice, she appears to be in charge… especially of poor Jasper…It's about as bad as how Rose is controlling Emmett." I added laughing.

Jasper was trying to fit all of Alice's bags into the trunk of Edward's Volvo. He dropped a few of them and Alice started screaming about him not being careful enough with her luggage. Jasper just ignored her and kept shoving her bags in. Emmett was trying desperately to get all of Rosalie's suitcases to stay on the luggage rack and was failing miserably. Every time he got one to stay, another one toppled off. When this happened, he would jump down to catch it before it hit the ground because Rosalie was threatening his jeep. I was laughing at their struggle and so was Edward.

"Aren't you glad me and you only have one bag each?" I looked up into his eyes that were smoldering. I had to remind myself to breathe.

"Yes, I am. Besides," he said leaning closer to me. "We wouldn't have anywhere to put them if we had more than one." I laughed. He was right about that one. "But, back to my first question, why can't you ride in the car with me?" he said as he kissed my neck. I shivered when his lips meet my neck. I remembered to breathe and somehow choke out an answer.

"Like I said before, ask Alice…..besides, I will be riding with you later on." I added. I had to say something. Pretty soon, I wouldn't be able to form a coherent thought if he kept kissing me.

"I know, but I want to ride in the car with you the whole time…" he whined.

"Oh what's the matter, don't want to ride with me?" Jasper called out.

I spun around to see Alice eyeing us form the door by the jeep, and Jasper waiting by the Volvo.

"Break it up you two or we will never leave." Alice joked. Her angry façade broke and she gave me a goofy smile.

Edward groaned as I let go of him and headed for the jeep. He went to the Volvo. I hopped up beside Alice who climbed in ahead of me.

"Bella?" she asked when I got settled. "Do you have your iPod?"

"Yeah…" I said as I fished it out of my pocket and dangled it in front of her face.

"Excellent." She grinned evilly as she took it form my hands and tossed it to Rose as Emmett cranked the jeep.

"What are we doing?" I asked as Rose plugged it in.

"What do you do on a road trip Bella?" Rose asked with an evil grin that matched Alice's. I gulped.

Suddenly the music started coming through the speakers of the jeep. Whew! At least it was simple Christmas carols.

**A little while latter…**

Alice, Rose, and Emmett actually got me into singing with them and all of us were screaming 'Jingle Bells Batman Smells' for the fourth time. After that, we started to sing 'Santa Baby.'

"Santa baby, a '54 convertible too, light blue" we all sang.

"I'll wait up for you dear  
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight."

All of us stopped singing at the last of it when Emmett went really high and started singing like a girl. He was so caught up in the song that he didn't even notice that all of us had stopped singing. He cut off mid-chorus.

"What?" he said into our awkward silence. All of us lost it at the serious look on his face and let our stifled giggled free. I was turning purple. Alice leaned on me for support.

"Bella…" she started between laughs. "That…idea is….is…AWESOME!"

"What idea?" Rosalie's giggles faded and she turned to face me.

"Well…" Edward would probably kill me for this plan, but Emmett's singing made me think about it, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity. "Do you have a cell phone and the song 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' on the iPod?"

Rose smiled at me as she started to grasp my plan and Emmett had a huge grin plastered on his face. In a few seconds, Rose found the song on a play list; she had it paused and ready to play. Alice tossed Rose the cell phone so that she could hold it right next to one of the speakers.

We heard the phone ring, since it was over speaker, and then Edward. Rose quickly tossed me the phone as he said hello.

"Hello?" he asked again when he got no reply.

"Hello Edward." I said sweetly.

"Oh…her Bella, is something wrong?" he asked seriously.

"No, but can you hand the phone to Jasper?" I asked him.

"Sure…" he said. I heard him start laughing as he handed the phone to Jasper. Alice must have filled him in on the plan since he was right behind us and could still read her thoughts.

"Hello?" a startled Jasper asked.

I tossed the phone back to Rose, and she hit the play button. Instantly, the song 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' was playing. We all heard Jasper start having a breakdown on the other end of the phone.

"Edward stop laughing this is not funny!" he growled. We heard the phone drop and assumed it had hit the floor. "No….No….NO!" Jasper screamed. "Why me...Make it stop!...MOMMY!"

All of us looked at each other for a second. Suddenly, we all turned around, even Emmett who was driving; to see what was happening in the car behind us. Edward was trying to get to the phone that was on the floor board apparently because he kept ducking in and out of sight. Jasper had jumped form the front seat and was crunched up in the fetal position dry sobbing on the back seat.

We all burst out laughing. I fell over backwards and landed in Alice's lap while turning purple again. Finally, Edward must have managed to get the phone and flip it shut because we could no longer hear Jasper's hyperventilating and screaming for his 'mom'. I sat up and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I think it is time to switch." Alice said. She was right; Jasper really needed some comforting after our little prank.

"Okay." I said. "But, can we get some food?" I asked as my empty stomach raised a protest. I had no clue where we were so it didn't really matter to me where we stopped. All I needed was something to eat.

"Sure…there is a pizza place up ahead." She said. "We can switch there too."

"Perfect." I said.

A few minutes later we were pulling into the parking lot of Papa Johns. As the jeep came to a halt, Alice and I jumped out. Edward and Jasper had pulled in behind us. The first thing Alice did was rush over to Edward's car and climb into the back seat with the emotionally scared Jasper to comfort him. I ran over to Edward as he got out of his car and hugged him tightly.

"Miss me?" he asked.

"Yes." I said, hugging him tighter.

"Come on, let's go get your food." He chuckled as my stomach protested again. I blushed as we walked towards the building.

Thankfully, it wasn't that busy and the wait wasn't long. We found a table big enough for all of us in the back corner near the exit and sat. We had one large and one small to keep up their act. I attacked the small pizza with everything. I was hungrier than I thought and ate a few pieces while they talked about our trip. We were making really good time with their driving and Alice said we should be there shortly.

As I finished my last piece, I looked around the small dining area. There were a few people sitting on the far wall. My gaze stopped traveling around the room when they landed on one person in particular. I simply couldn't believe it. I nudged Edward's side with my elbow so he could confirm that what I saw wasn't true.

"What…" he asked as he turned to me, but then he saw my gaze and started to stare too. I heard a low growl coming form him.

"What are they looking at?" Emmett asked. "Earth to Bella and Edward…" He said to get our attention.

I broke my gaze and turned back to Edward and away form the person across the room. He stopped staring to and wrapped his arm tighter around my shoulders.

"You won't believe who else is here." Edward said.

"Who?" Emmett asked.

"Newton…" Edward growled.

Alice's face lit up like a Christmas tree. She had seen this coming. _And she didn't warn us?_ How could she?

"Calm down Bella…" Alice said smiling evilly again. "I didn't tell you because I have a plan!"

_Here is the longer chapter! I might not be able to update so soon this time because I go back to school tomorrow. Sucks, I don't want to go. But leave me a review and tell me what you think. Forgive any typos please, I didn't reread all of this chapter. _


	20. Chapter 19: The Plan: Part 3

**AN:** Here is your next chapter. Thank you to all of the wonderful reviews! I can't believe I have 72 with this being my first story! Anyway, back to the main point, I would like to thank all of the people who thought I should have Mike reappear. Great idea! Once again, hats off to lanna-misssunshine for letting me use her idea of having them go on a road trip. And to Twilghtfangirls for letting me borrow the extremely gay Mike Newton. Now, the chapter…

**Chapter 19: The Plan**

**(Part Three: Messing with Mike)**

**Bella POV**

Emmett started to twitch nervously in his seat. I guess he thought this might be a repeat of our Christmas caroling expedition we had. The thought of how Mike looked at Emmett made me smile. This was going to be so funny.

"Now," Alice began as we all huddled together over the table and pizza to hear her plan. "We have to get Mike outside."

All of us looked at Emmett with evil smiles on our faces.

"What? Why are you all looking at me like that?" Emmett shifted nervously again.

"Emmett, Mike is in love with you man." Jasper laughed. "It was pretty clear how he felt when…we went to his house for Christmas caroling…and he saw you." Jasper managed to choke out.

Emmett's eyes looked like the might pop out of his head. Edward started laughing too.

"Man…..you should have heard his thoughts!" Edward choked out. "And I quote him, 'Why are they doing this to my angel?'" All of us were laughing so hard that I was turning purple for at least the third time today, and they would have been dead by now if they needed to breathe.

"Shut up!" Emmett growled and began to pout.

"Okay, let's stop picking in my poor husband…" Rose said as she finished laughing it off.

"Alright, but seriously, Emmett, you are _**the**_ bait." Alice said.

"But…But…" Emmett sputtered.

"Look, I already saw this, he will follow you outside. All you have to do is walk by his table over there carrying a pizza. Why did you think I got a large in the first place? Bella can't eat all of that." She pointed to the large box.

"I thought you liked to buy things…" Emmett groaned in defeat.

"Noooo…well okay yeah and to keep up our act- but also because you are going to walk past him with this uneaten pizza like you just got take-out and go out to the jeep. He is going to follow you. When you get out there, since he is parked right beside you-"

"He is?!" Emmett almost screamed. Jasper clamped a hand over his mouth and started spreading waves of calm. "Thanks." Emmett mumbled form under Jasper's hand. Jasper nodded and wiped off his hand that was covered in drool on Emmett's shirt sleeve.

"Yeah, I just didn't tell you." Alice giggled. "Anyway, he will try to talk to you, and then we will take the rest from there." She finished with a smug smile.

"Well what are we supposed to do?" Rose asked quickly. Wow, she was really almost excited about this as Alice. Edward and I were both in this for personal reasons. But, it surprised me Rose wanted to take him down as much as we did.

"Well….."

* * *

**Mike POV**

I had just finished the last piece of pizza I was going to eat when my angel walked past me. Was I dreaming? No. Oh. My. God. I would have fainted, but instead I got up from the table and started to leave too. I was going to follow him out to his car and try to make small talk.

He went out the door and started headed for a huge jeep. Wow. It was just like him- big and beautiful. Luckily, I was parked right next to him. I almost squealed out loud. Yet, I somehow managed to keep my composure. I approached my car door. He had his strong, muscular, back turned to me and was leaning over the driver seat to put the pizza in the other. I was almost drooling! God was he cute!

"Hey, Emmett." I said casually. OMG! Was I trying to hard? Ugh! I loved him so much! Why couldn't't he see that and just talk to me!

"Um…Hey...Mike." he said as he turned around to face me. I smiled at him. Maybe that would get his attention.

"So what are you doing? I wouldn't have expected to see you here."

"Um…I'm just visiting… some family friends for Christmas and decided to get some lunch." He looked uncomfortable. I wonder why.

"I'm visiting some family too." Hopefully that would lead to something else to talk about. He started to turn around to get in his jeep. No! That couldn't't happen! I needed to find something to talk about. "I like your jeep." I said hoping to not sound too desperate.

"Really?" he said turning to me again. Yes! "It is pretty sweet isn't it?"

"Yeah. It looks really good." _Just like you…_"Bet it has a good engine too." I added to keep the conversation going even though I had no clue what I was talking about.

"Yeah it does." He said as he patted the hood. "Want to see it?"

_Oh would I! _"Sure…"

I closed my car door and walked over to the front of the jeep by him. As he went to pop the hood open, everything suddenly went black. I screamed.

**Emmett POV**

Bella was ducked down on the floorboards of the passenger side. I did not want to keep talking with Newton, but Bella kept motioning for me to keep on talking so that he would get in position for Rose and Edward to jump him. I knew what I had to do. The hard part was doing it. I took a deep breath out of habit as Mike started talking to me again. I could feel his eyes practically stripping off my clothing. Despite this, I turned to face him.

He started talking to me about my jeep- just like Alice said he would. This made the situation a little bit better now that I was caught up in thinking about my most prized possession instead of his gayness.

"Bet it has a good engine too." He said to me. _Damn right it does._

"Yeah it does. Want to see it?" I asked. OK, I had finally done it and now, it was time.

"Sure…" he said to me.

I started walking toward the front of the jeep. He started walking in the same direction I was.

**Rose POV**

I didn't really have anything against Newton except for him being a sleaze-bag to Bella. I really didn't appreciate him being a jerk to my soon to be sister even if I wasn't that close to her. For me, this was more or less my way of saying for him to keep his gay hands off my man. He started walking toward the front of the jeep and I got ready to pounce.

_Get ready Edward. _He nodded next to me.

Just as he reached the front of the jeep, we jumped out and blindfolded and gagged him. His muffled girly scream still escaped his lips though. I almost lost my grip on the knot I was tying to hold the blindfold on because I started laughing so hard. Edward was having as much trouble tying the gag knot as I was having with mine due to laughter.

"My angel! Help me! What's going on! Emmieeeee!" Mike screamed in a very high pitched voice.

OMC! He just called him Emmie! Emmett's jaw dropped and I thought he was about to deck him. But, he just stood there, wide-eyed, seething.

Edward lost his hold on the knot and fell to the ground laughing his butt off. I almost did too. When the knots were finally tied, Alice jumped out of the back of the jeep with Bella who was hiding in the front. Alice drug Mike away while he was still screaming for 'Emmie' in a very girly voice to save him.

Edward managed to stand up despite his crazy laughing. Emmett just glared at both of us.

"Come on Emmie…don't be mad." Edward said.

**Bella POV**

We heard when Rose and Edward pounced because of Mike's high pitched squeals and screams. Alice and I had to calm down before we left the jeep; so, we were shaking with repressed giggles. Alice gave me the signal to go a few seconds later and we both jumped out and sprinted over to Mike. It had only been about thirty seconds since they first grabbed him, and with their speed, we shouldn't't have had to wait that long. But, when I saw Edward rolling on the ground gasping for air, I knew what had slowed them down.

Alice grabbed Mike from Rose and we sprinted off toward the bathrooms. We had to take him in the ladies restrooms, but with the way he was screaming, he could pass for one. Somehow, through the giggles, we managed to put the dress on him. It was a layered, ruffled, pink dress that went to mid-thigh. Alice was able to also put the hot-pink high heels on him and the red wig. We stepped back to inspect our work form a far.

"I almost forgot the makeup!" Alice yelled.

Alice whipped out her makeup and started to put some blush and lip gloss on Mike. I was hysterical by the time she was done. He had on the pink dress, hot-pink spike heels, the red wig, lots of blush, and lip gloss. Mike was one ugly woman.

**Jasper POV**

I was relieved to see Bella and Alice come out of the bathroom laughing. The waves of emotions coming from Mike were about to drive me insane! At least now I could calm him some. I went in and grabbed Mike. Edward met me outside the door and helped me carry him over to the nearest lamppost on the far side of the parking lot. We almost dropped him because we were laughing so hard. Good thing Rose had disabled the security cameras. We were moving so slow that they would have been able to see us perfectly.

After what felt like forever, we sat Newton down and I pulled out the tape. We went around his arms and legs- securing him to the pole. We made sure he was tied down tight and stepped back to look at Ms. Newton. Alice, Rose, Bella, and Emmett had joined us and were laughing.

Emmett pushed past us and ran up to Newton. He put something around his neck and on his head. He rejoined us a minute later.

**Edward POV**

Mike was by far the ugliest woman I had ever seen. As if the dress, heels, wig, blush, and lip gloss, weren't enough, Emmett put a sash around his neck that said 'Little Princess' and a tiara on his head. I fell to the ground laughing again gasping for air. This would teach him to mess with Bella and Emmett.

**Mike POV**

I felt like I was in high heels and a dress. I knew they had put makeup on me and something else, but I didn't know what. They just kept laughing. Why were they laughing!? I was so upset. I just wanted to cry. I started to sob. Why me? I hadn't done anything!

I was relieved when the laughing started to fade into the distance. But wait- that meant they were leaving me here! No! They couldn't't just leave me! It would get dark later, and it was cold out here- wherever here was- in this stupid dress. But it was comfortable….No! I just wanted to go home, get into my bunny pajamas, and watch America's Next Top Model reruns. I still hadn't seen all of cycle nine! How could they do this to me!?

Just as I was about to scream for help, which didn't work quite right because I was gagged, I heard someone running toward me. Was my knight I shining armor coming to save me? Oh Emmie! I knew he would come to my rescue!

**Emmett POV**

I couldn't't believe I had remembered to put the sash and tiara on Mike but forgot the most important thing! I sprinted across the parking lot carrying it in my arms. I dropped it to the ground by Mike silently praying that the batteries would last until someone found him to hear it. I chuckled and hit play. I sprinted back to the car with 'Barbie Girl' blasting form the portable stereo behind me.

_Not much, but I hope it is funny. I love torturing Mike! Please review! And sorry if I have any typos. _


	21. Chapter 20: Christmas

**AN: **Okay, this is the last chapter. I hope you like it. It may not be that funny but I mainly just wanted to tie up the loose ends and end this story all ready since it is way past Christmas now. It is mainly just a feel good chapter with light humor. Review!

**Chapter 20: Christmas!**

**Bella POV**

After the Mike incident, we switched cars and continued our road trip to the hidden location Alice was taking us too. It was rather aggravating when she would randomly yell out something like 'left' or 'right', but I guess she had to yell since Edward wasn't always paying attention to her thoughts. Yet, somehow, I managed to fall asleep through it all.

Edward and I were in our meadow and it was just like the first time we were there. He was beautiful with the sun sparkling off of his skin. I lay down beside him and closed my eyes. Just as I got comfortable, I felt something nudging me and someone calling my name.

"Edward?" I asked curiously.

"No, silly." A voice rang out.

I opened my eyes to see Alice gently shaking my shoulder.

"What the…."

"You fell asleep." Alice giggled.

"Yeah, I got that." I said as I stretched as much as the seat belt would allow. "But why did you wake me up? Are we there yet?" I looked over at Edward who was smiling.

"No, but we are going to be there in about five minutes." He said as his smoldering eyes looked into mine.

I turned away form him and looked out of the window. There was snow everywhere. The setting sun reflected off of the fresh layer of it that covered the ground and gave it an orange glow that sparkled. It was beautiful. But where were we exactly?

"Um…Where are we exactly?" I asked.

"We are in Alaska." Alice said happily.

"Ooohhhh…"

"Pretty isn't it?"

"Yeah, it really-"

"Left!" Alice screamed in the middle of my sentence.

"-is." I finished and turned back around.

We were going down a long driveway covered in a fresh blanket of snow like everything else. As if it appeared out of thin air, I suddenly saw the house at the end of the driveway. It was a red brick house- no- mansion. It was three stories high with two chimneys on each side of the house. There were balconies on the second and third stories, and all of the banisters, shutters, and trim was a creamy white color. I gasped as I looked at it.

Edward pulled up to the front steps of the house behind the Mercedes. Alice and Jasper both jumped out at vampire speed. I unhooked the seat belt and went to get out, but Edward grabbed my hand and stopped me. He looked at me with anxious eyes that were also full of worry.

"Do you like the house?" he asked me. Of course I did- it was beautiful.

"Of course, Edward, it is gorgeous." I reached out and stroked his cheek. "How did Alice find this place to stay at?"

"Well, Carlisle and Esme helped."

"Well they have very good taste. I don't even want to know what it cost though." He laughed and then kissed me sweetly on my lips.

"Then you never will. Now, we better go inside before Emmett goes insane for not being able to open his presents. He is worse than a two year old." He said as he broke the kiss.

Edward came around and opened my door for me. Alice and Jasper had already taken our bags inside; so we went straight in. Emmett was pacing around the massive Christmas tree set up in the living room. Jasper was looking anxious- probably because of Emmett. Alice and Rose were rolling their eyes at their husbands. Carlisle and Esme were sitting calmly on one of the couches smiling at their children.

"Finally, here they are. Can we start now?" Emmett asked anxiously. Carlisle nodded just as Edward and I took a seat across from them on a love seat.

At vampire speed, Emmett and Alice gave everyone their presents. Soon, all of my presents to hand out were at my feet. I made sure that my present for Edward was at the bottom, that way he would get his last.

"Now who is going to start the gift giving?" Alice said excitedly.

"Well, I think Bella should get to give her gifts first." Esme said kindly. I returned her warm smile. Esme was so sweet.

I started by giving Emmett his gift first since he looked like he might explode. "Here you go Emmett." I said as I got up and handed him his present. He tore into it as soon as I handed it to him.

I continued making the rounds with my stack of gifts. I gave Rose hers next, then Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, and finally Edward. By the time I sat back down next to Edward with his present in my hands, I was being crushed by Emmett who was thanking me for his new subscription to the gym in Forks. Why he wanted one I would never know, but he had been saying that he wanted to go to the gym for months. So, I bought him a subscription that way he could show up the other members.

When he let me go and I was about to hand the gift to Edward, Alice tackled me. I sighed in frustration. This was twice now that I had been tackled. I guess she really liked her gift card to Bloomingdales.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Alice screamed right in my ear. Jasper came over her pried her off of me.

"Thank you Bella." Jasper thanked me for getting him a Civil War book he had been drooling over for a month now as he carted Alice back over to the couch.

"Thanks, Bella." I was surprised when Rose came over and hugged me for giving her the pair of high heels I had seen her eyeing at the mall last time we went. "They are perfect!"

Carlisle and Esme both told me thank you as Rose pranced back over to her seat wearing her new heels. Finally, I could give Edward his gift. I took a deep breathe and gave it to him. He took it from my hands and raised one eyebrow at me. I couldn't help it if I was nervous- I was afraid that he wouldn't like it, although he probably would.

I watched as he silently ripped the paper off the box. He lifted the lid off and looked inside. He looked back into my eyes and all I saw in them was love. I was so relieved that he liked the gift. Gently, he pulled the necklace out of the box. It was a thick chain made for men and on it was a partner charm to the one he had given me to go on my bracelet. I wanted to give him something to help symbolize my love for him, so I got him a navy blue set of angel wings. He was my guardian angel.

"Thank you." He breathed in my face and kissed me.

"I'm glad you like it." I said as he broke the kiss.

"How could I not like it? It is from you Bella." Then he leaned closer and whispered in my ear. "I am going to give you your present tonight."

* * *

After Alice, who went last out of the 'children', had given everyone else their presents, Esme and Carlisle gave us our gifts. 

"I would like everyone to go to the garage." Carlisle said.

As everyone went to get up, Emmett stopped us.

"Wait, I have one more gift for Alice and Jasper."

"What would that be?" Esme asked.

Emmett practically pulled the two boxes he had been hiding out of thin air and handed them to Alice and Jasper. Alice burst out laughing as soon as she had the present in her hands. Jasper wasted no time- he started ripping the paper off to see what was making Alice laugh so hard.

"We… weren't… serious… Emmett." Alice managed to say between laughs.

Jasper lifted the lid of the box and fell to the floor laughing. Emmett stood there looking embarrassed.

"What is it Alice?" I asked curiously.

"He….He….." Alice tried to say it but couldn't, so Jasper said it for her.

"STUFFED HIPPOS!"

Edward and I fell off the couch laughing. Rose was rolling her eyes at Emmett.

"I thought you really wanted them…" Emmett muttered like a two year old.

"No…no…" Alice composed herself. "They are really cute." Emmett started beaming at her. "But we weren't completely serious about wanting them. It's just a song, but thank you Emmett."

He smiled even wider while we all got off the floor to head for the garage.

I had no clue where we were going. Edward noticed and grabbed my hand. I laced my fingers through his as he led me to the garage. We stepped through the door, and there, in front of us, were six new sleds. Alice was squealing and jumping up and down with Rose. Emmett, Jasper, and Edward were exchanging smug glances.

"Wow." Was my reaction.

"We thought that while you were here with all of this snow, you all would like to do a little sledding." Carlisle and Esme smiled. "Emmett, yours is the biggest one. Alice has the smallest. I am sure you can figure it out from there." They said.

"Can we go sledding now?!" Alice asked enthusiastically.

"Sure." They said.

Alice, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper flew through the door and back up into their rooms to go change.

"Thank you so much." I said as I stopped and hugged Carlisle and Esme.

"Your welcome." They said.

Edward and I left them in the garage to go to our room. He led me up a huge stair case to the end of a hall on the second floor. When we got in the room, I was speechless. It looked just like his room back home. The only thing different were the windows, balcony door, and the fact that there were chairs in the corner near the window.

"Do you like it?" Edward asked me. I shook my head furiously since the words wouldn't come out. I jumped on him and tried to hug him as hard as I could. He laughed and kissed my neck. "I'm glad you do. Now, we might want to change before Alice comes up and does it for us." He nuzzled his face in my hair before letting me go.

I grabbed my clothes out of my bag and went into the bathroom. I quickly threw on a pair of old jeans and a very thick sweater. I pulled my insulated water-proof jacket on over the sweater and came out. Edward was layered with winter gear that he didn't need. He kissed me one last time before he picked me up and ran us down to the garage where Alice and everyone else was waiting for us.

"Let's go!" Alice said as she handed Edward and I our sleds.

We ran outside to the top of the nearest, and highest, hill. Emmett plopped down on his board and pushed himself off. He flew down the hill and didn't stop until he was at least fifty yards away fort the base of it. Jasper took off after him and shot out- moving even further away. Rose and Alice went at the same time and screamed the whole way down. They stopped right behind Emmett.

Edward and I got down on our sleds at the same time. He pushed off first and started zooming down. I was frozen for a moment, but then I kicked off against the snow bank as hard as I could. The wind whipped against my face and I let out a scream of delight. It felt amazing. I actually started laughing despite my nerves at first. I was coming down and shot right past Edward, Alice, Rose, and Emmett. I was headed right for Jasper. I thought I was about to hit him so I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself for the impact. But it never came. I felt myself slow down and opened my eyes. I had stopped one meter past Jasper.

He was staring wide-eyed at me. I grinned.

"I beat you." I smiled even wider at the clear shock on his face from what I had said.

"But…But…no one has ever bet me at sledding!" he said as he got up.

"I just did." I said as I got up and started to run back to the top of the hill.

The rest of our sledding continued in much the same way. I was able to go the farthest out every time. Jasper said I had an unfair advantage though because I was the lighter than him. If that was true, Alice could have beaten him, but she probably didn't want to hurt his ego. Emmett and Edward had their own little bet going on who could go down the fastest. Alice, Rose and I, were the flag girls for the race. Edward won of course.

After sledding, we went back to the house to change and relax for the rest of the evening. Alice thought it would be a good idea to have a movie night so we all met up back in the living room after changing.

"What are we watching Alice?" I asked as I sat down next to her and Jasper with Edward.

"The Grinch!"

"Are you sure that is a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, you know how you made Carlisle dress up…"

Her mouth made an 'o' shape just as Carlisle came into the room.

"What are we watching?" he asked as he sat.

"Um…" I looked at Alice.

She opened her mouth but was cut off by the sound of the opening credits. Carlisle stared at the TV in shock.

"Not this!" he said. He grabbed Esme and they ran upstairs.

"Well, what else do you want to watch?" she asked.

"The Nightmare before Christmas!" Jasper said happily.

"Oh, hell no." Emmett stood up. "I am not watching that creepy movie." He ran out of the room. Rose followed him.

"Well?" she turned to me.

"Oh! Santa Claus is Coming to Town!" I said excitedly.

Jasper got very quit and I started to get a panicky feeling. I didn't understand where it was coming form at first, but then I remembered what happened to Jasper.

"She isn't coming here is she?!" He stood and started to scream. "How could she find me?! This far away too! NO! I have to hide!" he ran from the room and we heard a loud bang coming form upstairs. Alice got up worriedly and ran off to find her emotionally unstable husband.

"So….." I said turning to face Edward. "What are we going to do?"

His eyes started to smolder and he picked me up bridal style. Edward ran us upstairs to our room. From the closet he grabbed a blanket and led me outside. I was a little confused about what we were doing, but then he sat me down on one of the lounge chairs that were facing the sunset. Tenderly he wrapped me in the blanket and lay down next to me on the chair. He pulled me on top of him and we laid there o watch the sunset.

"So," he asked after a minute. "You like the house?"

I tore my gaze form the sun that was now far behind the tree line to look into his eyes. They had the same look from earlier in the car again.

"Of course, it is perfect." He smiled at my words.

"Merry Christmas Bella." I was baffled, but then it dawned on me what he meant.

"EDWARD!" I yelled. "You're giving me a HOUSE for Christmas?!" shock was written all over my face.

"Well, not if you don't like it…"

"Why on earth would you buy a house?"

"Well, once we get married, we can't possibly stay in Forks. We have to have somewhere to go." He said matter-of-factly.

My mouth formed an 'o'.

"But, really a_ house_?" I said again, wincing inwardly at the last word.

"Really, and don't worry about the cost- you already said you never want to know." He smiled triumphantly.

"That was before I knew it was my present!"

"You still won't find out."

He gently placed his lips on my neck and I lost track of thought. Dang it! Why did he have to dazzle me all the time?

"Thank you Edward." I said as he pulled back to let me breathe.

"Your welcome." He laughed and kissed my lips.

Once again, he pulled back to soon. I frowned, but then he pointed to the doorway. Alice stood there with something in her hand that looked like a glass.

"Hey Bella." She said innocently.

"Hey Alice, sorry your movie plan didn't work. How is Jasper?" I asked.

"He's calming down in the attic. But I just wanted to ask you something…"

"Sure Alice what is it?"

"Would you like some eggnog?"


	22. Chapter 21: Announcement

First of all this is way over due, but thank you to everyone who read and reviewed my story! It really does mean a lot to me- especially since it was my first one. And now, I have a New Story up- go read it and leave a review!


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